I never really considered my dreams to have much significance until recently. Although I’ve read about how God has given people divine revelations through their dreams, I honestly didn’t believe them.
Then a few months ago I found myself standing on a rocky cliff in Africa looking upon a man covered with lesions due to AIDS. I could feel a quick breeze hit my face, as I saw the sun pound upon the man’s dark skin. His head was buried in his hands as he wept. As I drew closer, I could see a mixture between snot and spit coming down from his hands. He finally noticed me and looked upon me.
“Hey man, what’s wrong?” I asked naively. I could tell this broken man couldn’t understand me. He just looked at me with extreme sorrow in his eyes; sorrow I’d never seen in a man’s eyes before. He tried to stop crying. I was afraid he was going to start hyperventilating. I wanted to tell this man so badly that everything was going to be OK, but I couldn’t.
I just gave him a hug. I could feel his body bleeding on my fingertips. The man’s frail arms were shaking as he held onto me like one would hold onto a life preserver. I immediately woke up crying.
The most disturbing aspect of the episode was that I wasn’t crying because I saw this man’s suffering through AIDS and the poverty around him. Even though I was aware that I couldn’t get AIDS from merely touching the man, I was still repulsed by the idea of touching him. The basic instinct was that if I touched the man, others would think I was just as dirty as society has made him out to be and I didn’t want to be part of that.
I really liked Christianity until it involved actually living out Jesus’ teachings. I loved hearing about how Jesus fed the multitudes, healed the lepers and made the blind see. I figured most of the work for Christians was done, because our focus was to save souls from eternal damnation—not getting our hands dirty because of Him.
I started flipping through the pages of my Bible to find something so much more than the Jesus I learned to bottle up like a genie. However, seven eternal words continuously stared me in the face: Love your neighbors as you love yourself.
Although I knew this new commandment well, it didn’t really sink in until I started reading about how Jesus healed the lepers. The lepers had this stigma around them that the man in my dream had. Society didn’t want them because they were dirty–even if they couldn’t help their condition.
The style of love Jesus shows is so different than what many of us believe. When we hear about the love of Christ, it feels that many of us think tolerance of our Christian neighbors.
Tolerance isn’t a bad thing by any means, but I am convinced the love of Christ runs deeper than that. It’s a love that requires us to accept a person for who they are.
Before we can accept a person like Jesus would, I am convinced we have to relearn empathy. Through empathy we learn to humble ourselves enough to feel what the other person is feeling. We live in a time where we dehumanize others through words such as, “sinner” or “lost soul,” which kills the connection we could have with some really amazing people. I am convinced that when we start building relationships with them, just to be friends, even if they’re of a different religious affiliation, then we will see a different side of life and be able to empathize with them.
Through this acceptance, we understand these people we love have faults and accept that. We understand they may even have a different political or religious affiliation, but that shouldn’t stop us from the love we find in Christ. If anything, this should propel it so they can experience the love we find through Jesus. After all, our neighbors aren’t all exactly Christian ones.
This love turns societies upside down. It doesn’t appeal to us white-collar Christians who put money in the offering plate on Sundays in hopes this helps others.
After a few prayers and a long sermon, we try to forget the injustices of the world by staying on our cell phones as we pass through life mindlessly. Or we help them, thinking someone from church may catch a glimpse of this good act.
Jesus’ dirty love turns the tables and tells us to do the right thing because it’s right. It coaxes us to understand others and to take time out of our days to really empathize and accept our neighbors.
It’s interesting to see how many of us Christians are willing to do everything but physically help a homeless man in need—much less a man ridden with AIDS. Not long after I had the dream I saw two Christians outside of a local restaurant talking with this homeless man. He was hungry and needed something to drink. It was obvious they had no intention of helping him out physically, but they were ready to save his soul. After handing him a tract, they walked inside to get their overpriced food.
I saw the same fear in this man’s skittish eyes as I did in my dream. He was even crying in a similar fashion as the man in my dream. It was unnerving. At that moment, I learned what it really felt like to step out of my own comfort zone to really show someone the love Jesus taught. Sometimes that love can only be found through a hug or a burger.
-Christopher Shaver, Relevant Magazine
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Finding the Smoke Detector
Not long ago a friend of mine told me that he "discovered his smoke detector." While I laughed at his simplicity, a few weeks later I definitely found my smoke detector.
That particular evening, just as I was getting settled in my cozy bed, that beast went wild. I mean, I was in one of those half-awake states, and I could have sworn the building was on fire. It was ear-piercing and ridiculous--enough to wake someone up from a coma really. I jumped out of my bed fearing for my life and expecting to find my place rapidly turning to ash. I readied myself for an escape out the window, and just as I was deciding whether or not my neighbors would mind seeing me in my drawers, silence. The siren ceased and all that could be heard was my heart pounding in my chest. I felt a little on the insane side and a little violated all at the same time. I paced around for awhile, throwing on lights and trying to make some sense out of the event. None could be found, however, and I returned to my slumber.
The next evening came, and the memory of the events of the previous night were long forgotten and tucked away in my random story folder. And then again. Same story. I just knew I was dreaming. This could not possibly happen two nights in a row without an apparent cause. I mean, was I blowing smoke in my sleep?! I got up more annoyed than frightened. The siren stopped and all was well again.
The next morning, I promptly called the maintenance department at 8:00. I told them my story, and the less-than-helpful-and-kind woman says, "Did you check the batteries." Ha. What an insult to my intelligence. I am not a fool--I know the difference between the this-building-is-burning-down-call-911 and please-change-my-battery-least-I-peep-till-kingdom-come. My batteries were not dying. She insisted that I check them, but I refused and a few hours later new smoke detectors were being installed in my apartment.
I have not had any more rude smoke detector awakenings since, but I have noticed something else that sometimes keeps me awake at night.
When my friend said that he "discovered his smoke detector" he was simply talking about the light. Before, he had never even noticed its presence, but the darkness revealed its bright green light. It has been awhile since my smoke detector mishaps, but lately I notice that green light more and more. Even in the light it is there, but in the darkness it is radiant.
When I turn out the lights at bedtime I am reminded of John 1:5-- The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. And then I begin to wonder to myself if I am standing far too often in the light with my "holy huddle" and not penetrating the darkness. I am challenged knowing that the darkness cannot overcome the light, but I fear I forget. I fear I am too busy to be the light of the world. O God, rescue me from my selfishness, and make me to shine in the darkest of nights.
That particular evening, just as I was getting settled in my cozy bed, that beast went wild. I mean, I was in one of those half-awake states, and I could have sworn the building was on fire. It was ear-piercing and ridiculous--enough to wake someone up from a coma really. I jumped out of my bed fearing for my life and expecting to find my place rapidly turning to ash. I readied myself for an escape out the window, and just as I was deciding whether or not my neighbors would mind seeing me in my drawers, silence. The siren ceased and all that could be heard was my heart pounding in my chest. I felt a little on the insane side and a little violated all at the same time. I paced around for awhile, throwing on lights and trying to make some sense out of the event. None could be found, however, and I returned to my slumber.
The next evening came, and the memory of the events of the previous night were long forgotten and tucked away in my random story folder. And then again. Same story. I just knew I was dreaming. This could not possibly happen two nights in a row without an apparent cause. I mean, was I blowing smoke in my sleep?! I got up more annoyed than frightened. The siren stopped and all was well again.
The next morning, I promptly called the maintenance department at 8:00. I told them my story, and the less-than-helpful-and-kind woman says, "Did you check the batteries." Ha. What an insult to my intelligence. I am not a fool--I know the difference between the this-building-is-burning-down-call-911 and please-change-my-battery-least-I-peep-till-kingdom-come. My batteries were not dying. She insisted that I check them, but I refused and a few hours later new smoke detectors were being installed in my apartment.
I have not had any more rude smoke detector awakenings since, but I have noticed something else that sometimes keeps me awake at night.
When my friend said that he "discovered his smoke detector" he was simply talking about the light. Before, he had never even noticed its presence, but the darkness revealed its bright green light. It has been awhile since my smoke detector mishaps, but lately I notice that green light more and more. Even in the light it is there, but in the darkness it is radiant.
When I turn out the lights at bedtime I am reminded of John 1:5-- The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. And then I begin to wonder to myself if I am standing far too often in the light with my "holy huddle" and not penetrating the darkness. I am challenged knowing that the darkness cannot overcome the light, but I fear I forget. I fear I am too busy to be the light of the world. O God, rescue me from my selfishness, and make me to shine in the darkest of nights.
Monday, March 03, 2008
My Deepest Need
Your love is life to me
My truest longing
My deepest need
Without it one moment
I dont know where I'd be
Your love is life to me
Bread for my body
Light for my eyes
All that I need You daily provide
Deep in my being
More than my blood
My very exsistence depends on Your love
Your love is life to me
My truest longing
My deepest need
Without it one moment
I dont know where I'd be
Your love is life to me
Moment by moment
I am aware of Your tender mercies
And Your constant care
My hope and my strength
Through all of my days
I see so clearly in so many ways
-FFH
My truest longing
My deepest need
Without it one moment
I dont know where I'd be
Your love is life to me
Bread for my body
Light for my eyes
All that I need You daily provide
Deep in my being
More than my blood
My very exsistence depends on Your love
Your love is life to me
My truest longing
My deepest need
Without it one moment
I dont know where I'd be
Your love is life to me
Moment by moment
I am aware of Your tender mercies
And Your constant care
My hope and my strength
Through all of my days
I see so clearly in so many ways
-FFH
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Hope This, Hope That
I’m not talking about blind optimism here -- the almost willful ignorance that thinks unemployment will go away if we just don’t think about it, or the health care crisis will solve itself if we just ignore it. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about something more substantial. It’s the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs; the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope of a millworker’s son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too.
Hope -- Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope!
In the end, that is God’s greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation. A belief in things not seen. A belief that there are better days ahead.
I believe that we can give our middle class relief and provide working families with a road to opportunity.
I believe we can provide jobs to the jobless, homes to the homeless, and reclaim young people in cities across America from violence and despair.
I believe that we have a righteous wind at our backs and that as we stand on the crossroads of history, we can make the right choices, and meet the challenges that face us.
-Barack Obama
It sounds beautiful. I won't deny that. But really? Sorry, I am skeptical. I want it to be true, I really do. But, how Mr. Obama?
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down
Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season--a season of repentance and prayer. I do not pretend to know much about Lent due to my traditional Baptist upbringing that does not celebrate the season. Most of what I know is from friends and from wikipedia. However, the tradition is beautiful to me. I think the reason I have begun to appreciate Lent is the recognition of need for a season of repentance. Yes, I know we can repent every day all year long--and we should. But to me, there is something special about a season in which the act is uplifted. The 40 days of Lent are often times related to the 40 days Jesus spent in the wildnerness preparing for ministry. And what a neat opportunity for us to practice a similar discipline with hope--hope that looks forward ultimately to the resurrection of Christ. The resurrection that means our sins are gone, washed away. What hope and joy!
Today I heard this song for the first time (I know my blog would not be complete without a song). It is called Dearly Loved by Jimmy Needham--
Please lay down your eros
For they're sure to pierce the skin
And water from a broken well
Will make you thirst again
When all things you've acquired
Are tested by the flames
And you can see them melting
Then will you call his name
It's worth it brothers
It's worth it friends
To know your maker
To lose your sin
Did you know that you are dearly loved
To the slaughters you are being led
Being told that it's a party
That this God is in your head
And every single lie
Sounds just like the greatest truth
But the one truth you're not hearing
Is that he died for you
No greater joy
No greater peace
No greater love than this
It's worth it brothers
It's worth it friends
To know your maker
To lose your sin
Did you know that you are dearly loved
What a message for all of us that we can know our Maker and lose our sins! And that is what Ash Wednesday is all about--knowing our Maker through repentance and losing our sins.
"For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water." Jeremiah 2:13
"...I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord." Jeremiah 9:24
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
May we find our rest and hope in Him in this season where we are reminded that we all fall down but that His grace is enough.
Today I heard this song for the first time (I know my blog would not be complete without a song). It is called Dearly Loved by Jimmy Needham--
Please lay down your eros
For they're sure to pierce the skin
And water from a broken well
Will make you thirst again
When all things you've acquired
Are tested by the flames
And you can see them melting
Then will you call his name
It's worth it brothers
It's worth it friends
To know your maker
To lose your sin
Did you know that you are dearly loved
To the slaughters you are being led
Being told that it's a party
That this God is in your head
And every single lie
Sounds just like the greatest truth
But the one truth you're not hearing
Is that he died for you
No greater joy
No greater peace
No greater love than this
It's worth it brothers
It's worth it friends
To know your maker
To lose your sin
Did you know that you are dearly loved
What a message for all of us that we can know our Maker and lose our sins! And that is what Ash Wednesday is all about--knowing our Maker through repentance and losing our sins.
"For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water." Jeremiah 2:13
"...I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord." Jeremiah 9:24
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
May we find our rest and hope in Him in this season where we are reminded that we all fall down but that His grace is enough.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Somewhere in the Middle
Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle
-Casting Crowns
What a simple song--Somewhere in the Middle. Can you relate? Do you ever feel caught in the middle between who you are and who you used to be? Between being content and always wanting more? Between your faith and your plans? I know I do. Some days I strive so hard to be all the Lord has called me to be and others I am wallowing in sin up to my chin. I truly feel caught in the middle--constantly deciding whether the Almighty or the withering world is better. My heart longs for the God but my flesh is so loud--caught in the middle.
I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.
-Revelation 3:15-17
Oh, God, thank You for your great mercy that holds us though we are wretched, poor, blind, and naked. Thank You for loving us in the moments we are caught in the middle.
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle
-Casting Crowns
What a simple song--Somewhere in the Middle. Can you relate? Do you ever feel caught in the middle between who you are and who you used to be? Between being content and always wanting more? Between your faith and your plans? I know I do. Some days I strive so hard to be all the Lord has called me to be and others I am wallowing in sin up to my chin. I truly feel caught in the middle--constantly deciding whether the Almighty or the withering world is better. My heart longs for the God but my flesh is so loud--caught in the middle.
I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.
-Revelation 3:15-17
Oh, God, thank You for your great mercy that holds us though we are wretched, poor, blind, and naked. Thank You for loving us in the moments we are caught in the middle.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
PB&J, Freebies, and Healthcare-- Political Thoughts from My Politically Inept Mind
Today I brought my smashed peanut butter and jelly sandwich to school that I didn't eat yesterday. I wasn't particularly excited about its consumption but, hey, I was in a hurry and it was better than nothing. As lunchtime approached I was reminded that lunch was provided at a lecture today for the first 50 students in line. So, with smashed PB&J in tow I jumped on the vulture wagon of hungry med students figuring that anything was better than my fare for the day. As I enjoyed my fresh, un-smashed, free sandwich from Cafe Express, I listened to a discourse about healthcare, insurance, politics, and the like--topics in which I am very uneducated.
Some of the conversation was far over my head, but I think I got the gist--there is a huge healthcare crisis with no simple answer anywhere on the horizon. Well, duh, I already knew that. But as I enjoyed my free meal I had a small (and probably seemingly obvious) revelation. You see, in many ways our nation works in the same way that me and my smashed PB&J sandwich fated today.
Let me explain-- I had what I needed. No, it wasn't want I wanted. But it was plenty. And even without the little that I had I could I have made it through the day. And not only that, I could have easy done better. With little effort I could have walked down the stairs, swiped my credit card, and provided for myself something more palatable and desirable than my current option. But I didn't have too. Another option was supplied for me, and not only that, the option was free. So I did the most rational thing that any hungry medical student would do and received my free gift along with 49 of my peers.
Here is where our nation's crisis arises. We are handing out freebies to people who (1) have plenty to get by on (yes, maybe it is not as much as their neighbor, but it is more than enough) and/or (2) could easily do better with a little effort. I am not talking about people who are unable to make ends meet despite gruelling efforts or those with disabilities that prevent them from such efforts--unless of course you consider bare laziness a disability.
You may say that I am stereotypical, judgmental, or maybe even just plain not altruistic. But look around. You won't have to look far to find a grand example of this in action--it is rampant. Don't mistake me for saying that I do not care about the poor, the orphans, and the widows--those in real need. What I am saying is that our American greediness has overrun every aspect of our culture, and if we are so blind and ignorant as to think that giving more to the "pseudo-poor" as I like to call it is the solution we are sadly, sadly mistaken.
One of the questions proposed today was, "What responsibility does the government have to provide healthcare for the uninsured?" And as one of my peers pointed out the more appropriate questions that we should be asking ourselves are--"What responsibility do individuals have to provide for their own well-being? What responsibility do individuals have to take care of themselves and provide for themselves?" I mean, if we are in the mood to be charitable we could pool the wealth and become Communist. But I think we are mistaking charity with stupidity.
I was watching the news one night as some angry protesters went nuts in New Orleans about the demolition of an area of government housing. The reporter interviewed a woman who said, "I may be poor, but I ain't gonna live poor." What a mentality--I am going to get and get and get as much as I can. That is not called poverty. It is called greediness and laziness.
Like I said, there are no simple solutions to the healthcare issue. But I think we are completely missing the point. I think we can package these ridiculous plans with pretty ribbons and bows all we want but when the big day comes for their unwrapping, some will be quite surprised when all they find is a box full of greedy snakes waiting in line for another dollar.
Please do not think I am saying that everyone on any sort of government program is a greedy snake. Rather, look and see how much the poor and needy are truly robbed by the "pseudo-poor" and un-needy in their abuse of the system.
As long as there is free food in the medical school there will be hungry students eagerly awaiting a good meal, and as long as we continue to rob ourselves with fluffy, pretty, simple plans there we be a line of lazies waiting for another check. Don't kid yourself.
Some of the conversation was far over my head, but I think I got the gist--there is a huge healthcare crisis with no simple answer anywhere on the horizon. Well, duh, I already knew that. But as I enjoyed my free meal I had a small (and probably seemingly obvious) revelation. You see, in many ways our nation works in the same way that me and my smashed PB&J sandwich fated today.
Let me explain-- I had what I needed. No, it wasn't want I wanted. But it was plenty. And even without the little that I had I could I have made it through the day. And not only that, I could have easy done better. With little effort I could have walked down the stairs, swiped my credit card, and provided for myself something more palatable and desirable than my current option. But I didn't have too. Another option was supplied for me, and not only that, the option was free. So I did the most rational thing that any hungry medical student would do and received my free gift along with 49 of my peers.
Here is where our nation's crisis arises. We are handing out freebies to people who (1) have plenty to get by on (yes, maybe it is not as much as their neighbor, but it is more than enough) and/or (2) could easily do better with a little effort. I am not talking about people who are unable to make ends meet despite gruelling efforts or those with disabilities that prevent them from such efforts--unless of course you consider bare laziness a disability.
You may say that I am stereotypical, judgmental, or maybe even just plain not altruistic. But look around. You won't have to look far to find a grand example of this in action--it is rampant. Don't mistake me for saying that I do not care about the poor, the orphans, and the widows--those in real need. What I am saying is that our American greediness has overrun every aspect of our culture, and if we are so blind and ignorant as to think that giving more to the "pseudo-poor" as I like to call it is the solution we are sadly, sadly mistaken.
One of the questions proposed today was, "What responsibility does the government have to provide healthcare for the uninsured?" And as one of my peers pointed out the more appropriate questions that we should be asking ourselves are--"What responsibility do individuals have to provide for their own well-being? What responsibility do individuals have to take care of themselves and provide for themselves?" I mean, if we are in the mood to be charitable we could pool the wealth and become Communist. But I think we are mistaking charity with stupidity.
I was watching the news one night as some angry protesters went nuts in New Orleans about the demolition of an area of government housing. The reporter interviewed a woman who said, "I may be poor, but I ain't gonna live poor." What a mentality--I am going to get and get and get as much as I can. That is not called poverty. It is called greediness and laziness.
Like I said, there are no simple solutions to the healthcare issue. But I think we are completely missing the point. I think we can package these ridiculous plans with pretty ribbons and bows all we want but when the big day comes for their unwrapping, some will be quite surprised when all they find is a box full of greedy snakes waiting in line for another dollar.
Please do not think I am saying that everyone on any sort of government program is a greedy snake. Rather, look and see how much the poor and needy are truly robbed by the "pseudo-poor" and un-needy in their abuse of the system.
As long as there is free food in the medical school there will be hungry students eagerly awaiting a good meal, and as long as we continue to rob ourselves with fluffy, pretty, simple plans there we be a line of lazies waiting for another check. Don't kid yourself.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Newness
Welcome to 2008! Wow, how the time flies and stands still all at the same time. I love the New Year because I love the time of reflection and renewal. Yeah, that seems like a trite or cliche thing to say, but it's true. A lot of people reflect on the year past and feel a sense of renewal--of starting over in a sense. The problem is that the renewal lasts for a day or two or maybe even a week or two--about until work or school or "normal" life kicks back into play. In my mind that is a tragedy--that we wear ourselves out so quickly and lose sight of the greater picture, the hope and joy that we have in Christ, that though life just plain sucks at times, He is faithful and good.
I feel like 2007 was a busy year. I was spare you all of a list of my 2007 accomplishments (because mostly they are boring and unimportant), but I flat out wore myself out. I even feel like I missed Christmas this year. Does anyone know what I mean? I was just so busy that when I was putting away the decorations I thought--did all this just happen already? Is Christmas tomorrow or was it last week? Running here and there and everywhere I missed it. I mean, sometimes I think that is just part of life. You can't slow life down. And that was me this year--there was nothing I could do to slow my life down.
But this week I am resting and doing exciting things that I have wanted to do for awhile now--like iron my curtains and organize my thousands of pages of notes from the semester. Exciting, I know. Today I chilled and as I was riding in the car I heard a great song on the radio. I must admit that, normally, I probably would have changed the station because, yes, it is the typical, overplayed, redundant, bordering on annoying, contemporary Christian song BUT its message hit home today and for me it is my theme song of the new year. It's called Miracle of the Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman--
It’s time for letting go
All of our if only’s
‘Cause we don’t have a time machine
And even if we did
Would we really want to use it?
Would we really want to go change everything?
‘Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about
Chorus:
So breathe it in and breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There’s a wonder in the here and now
It’s right there in front of you
And I don’t want you to miss
The miracle of the moment
There’s only one who knows
What’s really out there waiting
In all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He’s out there waiting
To Him the future’s history
And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about
And if it brings you tears
Then taste them as they fall
And let them soften your heart
And if it brings you laughter
Then throw your head back
And let it go, let it go
You gotta let it go
Listen to your heartbeat
I love how it says, "He has given us a treasure called right now, and this is the only moment we can do anything about." What a wonderful thing to treasure day-to-day, maybe even seemingly mundane life. What a wonderful thing to live in the moment. Yeah, yeah, cliche you may say. But true nonetheless. Hold on to that. Enjoy the moment.
And one last thought--
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
1 Corinthians 5:17
Welcome to the new year. May you experience the newness you have in Christ to its fullest this year and may you live in the miracle of the moment. May the Lord bless you and keep you and may His face shine upon and be gracious and give you peace....
I feel like 2007 was a busy year. I was spare you all of a list of my 2007 accomplishments (because mostly they are boring and unimportant), but I flat out wore myself out. I even feel like I missed Christmas this year. Does anyone know what I mean? I was just so busy that when I was putting away the decorations I thought--did all this just happen already? Is Christmas tomorrow or was it last week? Running here and there and everywhere I missed it. I mean, sometimes I think that is just part of life. You can't slow life down. And that was me this year--there was nothing I could do to slow my life down.
But this week I am resting and doing exciting things that I have wanted to do for awhile now--like iron my curtains and organize my thousands of pages of notes from the semester. Exciting, I know. Today I chilled and as I was riding in the car I heard a great song on the radio. I must admit that, normally, I probably would have changed the station because, yes, it is the typical, overplayed, redundant, bordering on annoying, contemporary Christian song BUT its message hit home today and for me it is my theme song of the new year. It's called Miracle of the Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman--
It’s time for letting go
All of our if only’s
‘Cause we don’t have a time machine
And even if we did
Would we really want to use it?
Would we really want to go change everything?
‘Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about
Chorus:
So breathe it in and breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There’s a wonder in the here and now
It’s right there in front of you
And I don’t want you to miss
The miracle of the moment
There’s only one who knows
What’s really out there waiting
In all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He’s out there waiting
To Him the future’s history
And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about
And if it brings you tears
Then taste them as they fall
And let them soften your heart
And if it brings you laughter
Then throw your head back
And let it go, let it go
You gotta let it go
Listen to your heartbeat
I love how it says, "He has given us a treasure called right now, and this is the only moment we can do anything about." What a wonderful thing to treasure day-to-day, maybe even seemingly mundane life. What a wonderful thing to live in the moment. Yeah, yeah, cliche you may say. But true nonetheless. Hold on to that. Enjoy the moment.
And one last thought--
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
1 Corinthians 5:17
Welcome to the new year. May you experience the newness you have in Christ to its fullest this year and may you live in the miracle of the moment. May the Lord bless you and keep you and may His face shine upon and be gracious and give you peace....
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Embracing Accusation
The father of lies
Coming to steal
Kill and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right Alleluia he’s right!
The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation
Could the father of lies
Be telling the truth
Of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death
Then death is mine
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right Alleluia he’s right!
Oh the devil’s singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He’s forgotten the refrain
Jesus saves!
-Shane and Shane
This is another one of those songs I have been jamming out to lately. I found this video online today--it's actually just audio, but I love the end.... If you don't listen to the song at least listen to the end.
But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.
-Romans 3:21-24
May the message that Jesus saves us from ourselves never get old. Many have polluted it throughout history--from wreckless Christians to televangelists with pink hair to pastors without integrity and the list goes on....
But the message is the same--we need Jesus desperately. And in Him, we're not just forgiven--though we don't even deserve that--we are also made righteous. Wow.
Coming to steal
Kill and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right Alleluia he’s right!
The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation
Could the father of lies
Be telling the truth
Of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death
Then death is mine
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right Alleluia he’s right!
Oh the devil’s singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He’s forgotten the refrain
Jesus saves!
-Shane and Shane
This is another one of those songs I have been jamming out to lately. I found this video online today--it's actually just audio, but I love the end.... If you don't listen to the song at least listen to the end.
But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.
-Romans 3:21-24
May the message that Jesus saves us from ourselves never get old. Many have polluted it throughout history--from wreckless Christians to televangelists with pink hair to pastors without integrity and the list goes on....
But the message is the same--we need Jesus desperately. And in Him, we're not just forgiven--though we don't even deserve that--we are also made righteous. Wow.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Jesus X-Rays
If you think you have seen it all, think again. Check this out.
Jesus is showing up in x-rays now. If you are feeling unspiritual just go have an x-ray taken, and you just might have an encounter with Christ Himself!
I think what's maybe the funniest part--or maybe the scariest--is that the radiologist agreed that He saw Jesus too! I mean, this guy literally has Jesus in his heart! And apparently enough of Jesus to cause chest pain.... :0)
Jesus is showing up in x-rays now. If you are feeling unspiritual just go have an x-ray taken, and you just might have an encounter with Christ Himself!
I think what's maybe the funniest part--or maybe the scariest--is that the radiologist agreed that He saw Jesus too! I mean, this guy literally has Jesus in his heart! And apparently enough of Jesus to cause chest pain.... :0)
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
A Glimpse Into My World at the Moment...
This is 14 seconds of my life this past semester. Yeah, I'm a nerd for posting it.... Just thought I'd share the bliss!
Smarty Pants
Be sure to check out this interesting article about what it takes to raise 'em up smart....
Here's an excerpt:
People do differ in intelligence, talent and ability. And yet research is converging on the conclusion that great accomplishment, and even what we call genius, is typically the result of years of passion and dedication and not something that flows naturally from a gift. Mozart, Edison, Curie, Darwin and Cézanne were not simply born with talent; they cultivated it through tremendous and sustained effort. Similarly, hard work and discipline contribute much more to school achievement than IQ does.
I don't think it's really rocket science--just a friendly reminder that your hard work will pay off.
Something that's been meandering around in my head today as I study for a slew of tests these next few weeks is that pain is temporary but the reward is eternal. The sacrifice is short but the prize is forever.
I hope that encourages you as you work hard in whatever season you may find yourself right now.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all you heart as working for the Lord and not men."
-Colossians 3:23
Here's an excerpt:
People do differ in intelligence, talent and ability. And yet research is converging on the conclusion that great accomplishment, and even what we call genius, is typically the result of years of passion and dedication and not something that flows naturally from a gift. Mozart, Edison, Curie, Darwin and Cézanne were not simply born with talent; they cultivated it through tremendous and sustained effort. Similarly, hard work and discipline contribute much more to school achievement than IQ does.
I don't think it's really rocket science--just a friendly reminder that your hard work will pay off.
Something that's been meandering around in my head today as I study for a slew of tests these next few weeks is that pain is temporary but the reward is eternal. The sacrifice is short but the prize is forever.
I hope that encourages you as you work hard in whatever season you may find yourself right now.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all you heart as working for the Lord and not men."
-Colossians 3:23
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Almost
Yesterday I went Christmas shopping. Yep, I bought all of you gifts--don't worry! :0) I signed a credit card receipt with a scribble at one particular store, and a very astute young man asked me jokingly, "You a doctor?" Standing in my sweatpants and t-shirt I chuckled and replied kindly, "Almost." He said, "Looks like you passed that class..." If only he knew.... :0)
Just as a side note...
Yesterday I also tripped while running on the treadmill--not once, but twice. Bet you are sad you missed that site!
Today I figured I would avoid any more treadmill misfortunes and enjoy the beautiful weather. As I prepared to go for a jog around the 'hood (and, yes, 'hood is definitely the most appropriate term) I carefully tied my house key onto the drawstring of my shorts. I made sure it was not coming off anytime in the next century or so. As I stepped out the door I soon realized how terrible an idea that was. So I stood on my tip-toes, hiked my shorts up to my belly button, and did a little dance in an effort to lock the door--shorts and all. Realizing my foolishness I quickly turned around to see if I had any fortunate onlookers. Bet you are sad you missed that site too!
Just as a side note...
Yesterday I also tripped while running on the treadmill--not once, but twice. Bet you are sad you missed that site!
Today I figured I would avoid any more treadmill misfortunes and enjoy the beautiful weather. As I prepared to go for a jog around the 'hood (and, yes, 'hood is definitely the most appropriate term) I carefully tied my house key onto the drawstring of my shorts. I made sure it was not coming off anytime in the next century or so. As I stepped out the door I soon realized how terrible an idea that was. So I stood on my tip-toes, hiked my shorts up to my belly button, and did a little dance in an effort to lock the door--shorts and all. Realizing my foolishness I quickly turned around to see if I had any fortunate onlookers. Bet you are sad you missed that site too!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
"Fa La La La La"
Merry Christmas! And to my Episcopal friends, Happy Hanukkah! Speaking of Christmas, are we planning another holiday war this year? As you know, it’s been an annual festivity since 2005. This time of year, certain media outlets start buzzing about the war. No, not that war. The War On Christmas.
To hear them talk, you might think Hollywood’s most powerful Jews were holding Jesus hostage somewhere in Canada. It’s not uncommon to hear reports that school children all across the country are being reprimanded for saying the word “Christmas,” Target and Kohl’s aren’t allowing their employees to say ‘Merry You-Know-What,” and that Hillary Clinton has been seen trying to slide down people’s chimneys in an attempt to steal decorations, stockings, presents and all of the Who pudding.
My favorite moment of the “news” coverage has to be when one talking head looked into the camera with a straight face and said, “Every company in America should be on its knees thanking Jesus for being born. Without Christmas, most American businesses would be far less profitable.”
Wow. I’m pretty sure a raging atheist couldn’t have come up with a better argument as to why saying “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas” is more appropriate for department stores. With that statement, the broadcaster not only yanked Christ out of Christmas, he put a price tag on him and posted a link on eBay.
How bad is the war on Christmas? According to that same broadcaster, this bad: “In Dodgeville, Wisconsin,” he proclaimed, “the Ridgewood Elementary School has changed the song Silent Night to Cold in the Night and forced the kids to sing the lyrics.” He then cleared his throat and began reading the lyrics to the Jesus-less song: “Cold in the night, no one in sight, winter winds whirl and bite.” He then smiled.
However, a few weeks later, I discovered that the Silent Night story from Wisconsin ended up being, well, a big fat falsehood! The “evildoers” who changed the lyrics of Silent Night to war against Jesus’ birth were actually putting on a play—one called “The Littlest Tree’s Christmas Gift”—and it had actually been written by a devout Presbyterian. In fact, the play wasn’t even a new one; the author had written the song in 1988 and legally borrowed the tune of Silent Night, which is in public domain.
Even so, a few evangelicals decided to retaliate last Christmas. One of them was Paula White, the platinum blonde pastor of the 22,000-member Without Walls International Church in Tampa, FL. In an effort to speak out against those who were trying to wrap up baby Jesus up and send him back to Bethlehem or at least kick him off public property, Paula had several of her church’s janitors get up on ladders and hang a tractortrailer-size sign on the side of her church. What was Paula’s holiday message to the world? Glad tidings of great joy? Not exactly. This little gem: “To Hell With Happy Holidays! Put Christ Back Into Christmas!”
Hmm. Which is worse for Jesus: Target employees who wish their customers a friendly, albeit forced, Happy Holidays or Paula White’s sign?
So, what the fa la la la la are we going to do this year—dress ourselves up in bulbs, lights and tinsel, and then stand out on public property and demand to be called Christmas trees? Would that make the story of Jesus more real?
Jesus is the Prince of Peace; do we really think he would spend one moment of time trying to ensure that nativity statues get displayed on public property during the month of December? Is that what being Christian is all about? I don't believe so.
Thankfully, when it’s all said and done I’m pretty sure Jesus will survive the war on Christmas. He’s out-survived the Spanish Inquisition and The Last Temptation of Christ, and it looks like he’ll outlast Pat Robertson, too. But you know, just because he can survive the mess we make of him doesn’t mean he should have to.
Happy Holidays.
-Matthew Paul Turner
Check it out.
I couldn't have said it better myself!
To hear them talk, you might think Hollywood’s most powerful Jews were holding Jesus hostage somewhere in Canada. It’s not uncommon to hear reports that school children all across the country are being reprimanded for saying the word “Christmas,” Target and Kohl’s aren’t allowing their employees to say ‘Merry You-Know-What,” and that Hillary Clinton has been seen trying to slide down people’s chimneys in an attempt to steal decorations, stockings, presents and all of the Who pudding.
My favorite moment of the “news” coverage has to be when one talking head looked into the camera with a straight face and said, “Every company in America should be on its knees thanking Jesus for being born. Without Christmas, most American businesses would be far less profitable.”
Wow. I’m pretty sure a raging atheist couldn’t have come up with a better argument as to why saying “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas” is more appropriate for department stores. With that statement, the broadcaster not only yanked Christ out of Christmas, he put a price tag on him and posted a link on eBay.
How bad is the war on Christmas? According to that same broadcaster, this bad: “In Dodgeville, Wisconsin,” he proclaimed, “the Ridgewood Elementary School has changed the song Silent Night to Cold in the Night and forced the kids to sing the lyrics.” He then cleared his throat and began reading the lyrics to the Jesus-less song: “Cold in the night, no one in sight, winter winds whirl and bite.” He then smiled.
However, a few weeks later, I discovered that the Silent Night story from Wisconsin ended up being, well, a big fat falsehood! The “evildoers” who changed the lyrics of Silent Night to war against Jesus’ birth were actually putting on a play—one called “The Littlest Tree’s Christmas Gift”—and it had actually been written by a devout Presbyterian. In fact, the play wasn’t even a new one; the author had written the song in 1988 and legally borrowed the tune of Silent Night, which is in public domain.
Even so, a few evangelicals decided to retaliate last Christmas. One of them was Paula White, the platinum blonde pastor of the 22,000-member Without Walls International Church in Tampa, FL. In an effort to speak out against those who were trying to wrap up baby Jesus up and send him back to Bethlehem or at least kick him off public property, Paula had several of her church’s janitors get up on ladders and hang a tractortrailer-size sign on the side of her church. What was Paula’s holiday message to the world? Glad tidings of great joy? Not exactly. This little gem: “To Hell With Happy Holidays! Put Christ Back Into Christmas!”
Hmm. Which is worse for Jesus: Target employees who wish their customers a friendly, albeit forced, Happy Holidays or Paula White’s sign?
So, what the fa la la la la are we going to do this year—dress ourselves up in bulbs, lights and tinsel, and then stand out on public property and demand to be called Christmas trees? Would that make the story of Jesus more real?
Jesus is the Prince of Peace; do we really think he would spend one moment of time trying to ensure that nativity statues get displayed on public property during the month of December? Is that what being Christian is all about? I don't believe so.
Thankfully, when it’s all said and done I’m pretty sure Jesus will survive the war on Christmas. He’s out-survived the Spanish Inquisition and The Last Temptation of Christ, and it looks like he’ll outlast Pat Robertson, too. But you know, just because he can survive the mess we make of him doesn’t mean he should have to.
Happy Holidays.
-Matthew Paul Turner
Check it out.
I couldn't have said it better myself!
Friday, November 23, 2007
Get Over the Sun
Get over it. Yeah, that’s not very compassionate. Not a phrase often associated with tenderness. But, lately, lately I’ve found some comfort there. A song has been ringing in my ears for a few weeks now, and I’ve just begun to marinate in what it really means in my life. Here are the lyrics… And if you haven’t heard it I would encourage you to check it out—
Sitting around the fireplace
With a friend who’s been through it all
Soloman, wisest one
Tell me what you have found
Under the sun, under the sun
He answered
Get over the sun
Where life is hidden
Then he put on
A somber face
Talked about how
The rich man will waste
Away in the ground
Where the poor man is found
Painted up, like a clown
Under the sun, under the sun
He answers
Son you’ll soon be done
A life spent on some shiny god
Who leaves you empty
-Shane & Shane
The song is about King Soloman who looked high and low in life for meaning—and found “all is meaningless, vanity.” He tried working hard, partying hard, etc etc. Nothing. He found nothing worth-while. Read Ecclesiastes. It can get pretty depressing—I tried this great thing and this noble thing and oh yeah and there was that other awesome thing too. And it all sucked. I was all meaningless. Just utter rubbish. Here are a few excepts from Soloman’s thoughts from chapter 1—
2 Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher,
vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
3 What does man gain by all the toil
at which he toils under the sun?
4A generation goes, and a generation comes,
but the earth remains forever.
5The sun rises, and the sun goes down,
and hastens to the place where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
and goes around to the north;
around and around goes the wind,
and on its circuits the wind returns.
7All streams run to the sea,
but the sea is not full;
to the place where the streams flow,
there they flow again.
8All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
9 What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.
10Is there a thing of which it is said,
"See, this is new"?
It has been already
in the ages before us.
11There is no remembrance of former things,
nor will there be any remembrance
of later things yet to be
among those who come after.
He also writes, “For who knows what is good for man in life, during the few and meaningless days he passes through like a shadow? Who can tell him what will happen under the sun after he is gone?" (Ecclesiastes 6:12). That’s a pretty hopeless conclusion. That’s dark. Have you ever been there? Have you ever just felt like nothing matters?
You could stop there. We could be left hopeless. Ecclesiastes concludes, “Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body….” May I just stop and say, “AMEN!” to that! Anyhow, Soloman continues, “…Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man…” (12:12b-13). I don’t know about you, but that just wasn’t the grand finale I was hoping for—everything is meaningless but we still must fulfill a duty. Sounds burdensome, wearisome. Sounds like exactly where we began.
But I don’t think so after all. I think I’m often times looking in the wrong place. I can’t see far past the horizon. I can’t see far past myself for that matter. And I’m so quick to forget that there is so much more to life than me, my, and mine. I wrestle in my petty problems and self-service. I forget the big God I know because I’m serving me or some other worthless idol. And may I add that sometimes my idols are very well disguised—they come in the form of spirituality, achieving great and noble things, serving others in dire need and so forth…. But anything other than the real deal is, well, nothing more than a fraud. It is leaves us empty.
I want to get over the sun. I want to find where life is hidden—not just the living, breathing kind of life but that abundant, full life. My things, my accomplishments, even my spirituality—it will all be burned up by the Sun. I’m going to get over it. Because there—there, life is hidden.
And the beauty—
"I have been young, and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing."
Psalm 34:25-26
We’ll never go hungry. He is ever so generous. May we not be robbed from His generosity because we nibble far too long on the wrong side of the Sun. May we get over the Sun—where life is hidden. Life. True, real, authentic life.
Sitting around the fireplace
With a friend who’s been through it all
Soloman, wisest one
Tell me what you have found
Under the sun, under the sun
He answered
Get over the sun
Where life is hidden
Then he put on
A somber face
Talked about how
The rich man will waste
Away in the ground
Where the poor man is found
Painted up, like a clown
Under the sun, under the sun
He answers
Son you’ll soon be done
A life spent on some shiny god
Who leaves you empty
-Shane & Shane
The song is about King Soloman who looked high and low in life for meaning—and found “all is meaningless, vanity.” He tried working hard, partying hard, etc etc. Nothing. He found nothing worth-while. Read Ecclesiastes. It can get pretty depressing—I tried this great thing and this noble thing and oh yeah and there was that other awesome thing too. And it all sucked. I was all meaningless. Just utter rubbish. Here are a few excepts from Soloman’s thoughts from chapter 1—
2 Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher,
vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
3 What does man gain by all the toil
at which he toils under the sun?
4A generation goes, and a generation comes,
but the earth remains forever.
5The sun rises, and the sun goes down,
and hastens to the place where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
and goes around to the north;
around and around goes the wind,
and on its circuits the wind returns.
7All streams run to the sea,
but the sea is not full;
to the place where the streams flow,
there they flow again.
8All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
9 What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.
10Is there a thing of which it is said,
"See, this is new"?
It has been already
in the ages before us.
11There is no remembrance of former things,
nor will there be any remembrance
of later things yet to be
among those who come after.
He also writes, “For who knows what is good for man in life, during the few and meaningless days he passes through like a shadow? Who can tell him what will happen under the sun after he is gone?" (Ecclesiastes 6:12). That’s a pretty hopeless conclusion. That’s dark. Have you ever been there? Have you ever just felt like nothing matters?
You could stop there. We could be left hopeless. Ecclesiastes concludes, “Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body….” May I just stop and say, “AMEN!” to that! Anyhow, Soloman continues, “…Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man…” (12:12b-13). I don’t know about you, but that just wasn’t the grand finale I was hoping for—everything is meaningless but we still must fulfill a duty. Sounds burdensome, wearisome. Sounds like exactly where we began.
But I don’t think so after all. I think I’m often times looking in the wrong place. I can’t see far past the horizon. I can’t see far past myself for that matter. And I’m so quick to forget that there is so much more to life than me, my, and mine. I wrestle in my petty problems and self-service. I forget the big God I know because I’m serving me or some other worthless idol. And may I add that sometimes my idols are very well disguised—they come in the form of spirituality, achieving great and noble things, serving others in dire need and so forth…. But anything other than the real deal is, well, nothing more than a fraud. It is leaves us empty.
I want to get over the sun. I want to find where life is hidden—not just the living, breathing kind of life but that abundant, full life. My things, my accomplishments, even my spirituality—it will all be burned up by the Sun. I’m going to get over it. Because there—there, life is hidden.
And the beauty—
"I have been young, and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing."
Psalm 34:25-26
We’ll never go hungry. He is ever so generous. May we not be robbed from His generosity because we nibble far too long on the wrong side of the Sun. May we get over the Sun—where life is hidden. Life. True, real, authentic life.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
"Listen to my bowel sounds!"
Today I examined my first patient—we’ll call her Ms. Hearey to protect her true identity. Yes, she was what we call a “standardized patient,” an actress if you will. My examination was to be simple—vital signs, skin, hair, and nails. A breeze. No problem.
My partner and I entered the exam room, awkwardly at best, washed our hands and proceeded with the simple tasks at hand. Nothing exciting. We had 45 minutes and finished in about 10. So our dear Ms. Hearey took it upon her sweet self to teach us a few “extras”. First she lifts her gown and says, “Listen to my bowel sounds!” Wow, what an invitation. I step forward timidly. “Sure.” I press my stethoscope into her abdomen. “Great. Sounds great.”
She took us through a full head-to-toe exam. She had us test her reflexes and listen to her breath sounds. By the end of the exam she was laid out on the table, gown wide open teaching us how to palpate the various organs in her abdomen. And the instructor walked in. And here we have our patient—exposed on the exam table pushing her fingers into her stomach. Quite the vital sign exam I must say!
Medicine is a strange thing. Being invited to openly invade others’ privacy is not natural. There is something so bizarre about the way others trust you when you don the white coat. It is an anomaly I cannot fully grasp. It is wonderful and terrifying.
I wonder what my life would look like if I trusted God the way Ms. Hearey trusted me and my comrade today. I’m reminded of Psalm 139:1 & 13, “O Lord, you have searched me and known me!... For you formed my inward parts….” The God of the universe knows me inside and out, and yet at times I run and hide from Him. I don’t trust Him like I ought. I think my way is better. But He knows me—after all He formed my inward parts. I have no reason to be ashamed before Him, no reason to not trust. He will only heal and pardon. He will only renew and restore. Even His chastisement is gracious and loving. He is merciful in all He does.
That I would run to Him and give my all to Him! That I would trust Him who knows me best!
“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I were to count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.” Psalm 139:17-18
My partner and I entered the exam room, awkwardly at best, washed our hands and proceeded with the simple tasks at hand. Nothing exciting. We had 45 minutes and finished in about 10. So our dear Ms. Hearey took it upon her sweet self to teach us a few “extras”. First she lifts her gown and says, “Listen to my bowel sounds!” Wow, what an invitation. I step forward timidly. “Sure.” I press my stethoscope into her abdomen. “Great. Sounds great.”
She took us through a full head-to-toe exam. She had us test her reflexes and listen to her breath sounds. By the end of the exam she was laid out on the table, gown wide open teaching us how to palpate the various organs in her abdomen. And the instructor walked in. And here we have our patient—exposed on the exam table pushing her fingers into her stomach. Quite the vital sign exam I must say!
Medicine is a strange thing. Being invited to openly invade others’ privacy is not natural. There is something so bizarre about the way others trust you when you don the white coat. It is an anomaly I cannot fully grasp. It is wonderful and terrifying.
I wonder what my life would look like if I trusted God the way Ms. Hearey trusted me and my comrade today. I’m reminded of Psalm 139:1 & 13, “O Lord, you have searched me and known me!... For you formed my inward parts….” The God of the universe knows me inside and out, and yet at times I run and hide from Him. I don’t trust Him like I ought. I think my way is better. But He knows me—after all He formed my inward parts. I have no reason to be ashamed before Him, no reason to not trust. He will only heal and pardon. He will only renew and restore. Even His chastisement is gracious and loving. He is merciful in all He does.
That I would run to Him and give my all to Him! That I would trust Him who knows me best!
“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I were to count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.” Psalm 139:17-18
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Rodents in the Wall
The rodents in my apartment wall did not move out upon my arrival. They stirred most of the evening that first night--as did I. Not only did the thought of a varmint sleeping next to me deter my rest but the anxiety of the first day of the rest of my life kept my head spinning. Despite my weary eyes, I awoke bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready and expectant.
I drove to school somewhat disoriented and lost, not sure where to go exactly. As I parked and exited the poorly-lit parking garage I was even more lost than before. Then I looked up. And I saw it. The University of Texas at Houston Medical School. It was the first day of Kindergarten all over again. Everything seemed so big and exciting. This was it! Honestly, I was proud of myself for finding the correct facility amidst the concrete juggle of skyscrapers. I walked in with dignity, determined not to look lost in my new surroundings.
That façade quickly faded. But I blended in well with my 241 peers who also hadn’t the slightest clue either. Once we found our place, we were greeted by quite the array of prestigious guests who had come to welcome us to our journey--our rollercoaster of sorts. They reminded us of the great responsibilities, of the hardships, of the joys. More than anything, they exhorted us to never give up. One said, “You are here because someone saw something in you. You have been chosen to succeed.” Such powerful words of belief, of faith in me! I thought, “Wait a second! You don’t even know me. I’m only a child! Do you know what you’re saying about me? Me? Are you sure?!”
That evening a heavy weight was placed on my shoulders--that of the infamous white coat. I felt like a child playing dress up. Everything was so surreal. Again I thought, “Me?! A doctor?! Ha!”
I drove to school somewhat disoriented and lost, not sure where to go exactly. As I parked and exited the poorly-lit parking garage I was even more lost than before. Then I looked up. And I saw it. The University of Texas at Houston Medical School. It was the first day of Kindergarten all over again. Everything seemed so big and exciting. This was it! Honestly, I was proud of myself for finding the correct facility amidst the concrete juggle of skyscrapers. I walked in with dignity, determined not to look lost in my new surroundings.
That façade quickly faded. But I blended in well with my 241 peers who also hadn’t the slightest clue either. Once we found our place, we were greeted by quite the array of prestigious guests who had come to welcome us to our journey--our rollercoaster of sorts. They reminded us of the great responsibilities, of the hardships, of the joys. More than anything, they exhorted us to never give up. One said, “You are here because someone saw something in you. You have been chosen to succeed.” Such powerful words of belief, of faith in me! I thought, “Wait a second! You don’t even know me. I’m only a child! Do you know what you’re saying about me? Me? Are you sure?!”
That evening a heavy weight was placed on my shoulders--that of the infamous white coat. I felt like a child playing dress up. Everything was so surreal. Again I thought, “Me?! A doctor?! Ha!”
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Running On Empty
This week has been incredibly boring. After taking the MCAT last weekend, when I have free time I just don't know what to do with myself. Monday morning I woke up so happy. Yeah, I had to go to Statistics at 8:00, but I didn't care. I just felt free. No more worries. No more studying--for the MCAT at least!
But today wasn't so boring. Today was jammed backed full of activities. There's no way I could have done everything. In fact, I only did about half. And at the end of the day I was still rushing around. My car was dinging at me, telling me it was empty. My stomach was growling for my attention. And my phone was even incessantly beeping alerting me that it would die at any second. As I pulled in the gas station with everything in my car telling me it was empty and needed my attention, I began to think about emptiness.
I just wonder how my times I run around spiritually empty like that. I mean, there was a gas station and a restaurant on every other corner. They was no reason for both my tank and tummy to be empty. And my phone sat by its charger all night last night. But I never stopped to address any of those situations before things got bad. I was getting a headache and feeling so thirsty. I was wondering if I would have enough gas to make it to the next stop and knowing that if I didn't my phone might not last to call for some help. All the incessant beeping was killing me!
I know my heart looks like that sometimes. I know it gets so empty and hungry. And I run around and around. I stop the beeping for awhile with friends or fun or whatever, but it's never enough. And the beep is back. So, I deaden it some more. Both nothing ever satisfies my hunger. Nothing like the arms of the Lord. I'm finding time and time again that He does it for me. I'm finding that I was made for Him. And I really like that. I really like being His.
But today wasn't so boring. Today was jammed backed full of activities. There's no way I could have done everything. In fact, I only did about half. And at the end of the day I was still rushing around. My car was dinging at me, telling me it was empty. My stomach was growling for my attention. And my phone was even incessantly beeping alerting me that it would die at any second. As I pulled in the gas station with everything in my car telling me it was empty and needed my attention, I began to think about emptiness.
I just wonder how my times I run around spiritually empty like that. I mean, there was a gas station and a restaurant on every other corner. They was no reason for both my tank and tummy to be empty. And my phone sat by its charger all night last night. But I never stopped to address any of those situations before things got bad. I was getting a headache and feeling so thirsty. I was wondering if I would have enough gas to make it to the next stop and knowing that if I didn't my phone might not last to call for some help. All the incessant beeping was killing me!
I know my heart looks like that sometimes. I know it gets so empty and hungry. And I run around and around. I stop the beeping for awhile with friends or fun or whatever, but it's never enough. And the beep is back. So, I deaden it some more. Both nothing ever satisfies my hunger. Nothing like the arms of the Lord. I'm finding time and time again that He does it for me. I'm finding that I was made for Him. And I really like that. I really like being His.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
He's Been Faithful
Christmas really snuck up on me this year. I just have such a hard time believing that last Christmas was a year ago already. I can't help but think of all the many, many things that have happened since then--hard things and joyous things. This time last year I was gasping for air after the craziest semester of my life. I was "getting my life together" and praying that God would restore to me my joy. He has done that and so so much more! The theme of my year, the thing I have found myself saying the most is "God is faithful." Isn't it wonderful to serve the Almighty God?! No, He's not tame, but He is ever so good!
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