When I Grow Up....

My hopes were high as I walked into Hospital Policlinico Monday morning. I had yet to see a pregnant woman in this country much less one in labor. However, rumor is there are an average of 12 births every day at Policlinico. I put on my freshly ironed scrubs and braced myself for a morning sure to be full of babies! After meeting Dr. Rojas I was ushered into a classroom, standing room only, with doctors, residents, and med students. If there is anything we have learned in our time in the hospitals here it is that the classroom is never good. After 2 hours of a pre-eclampsia lecture in Spanish I was, needless to say, disappointed.

Tuesday I arrived bound and determined to find labor and delivery and deliver some babies! I succeeded in the former but miserably failed in the latter. After several hours in L&D and not a single woman in labor, I decided to head home.

Being the stubborn woman that I am, Wednesday morning I decided I wouldn´t give up. Third time is a charm, I figured. I hesitantly suited up and headed into L&D. In the dressing room I kept hearing the word pre-eclampsia but could not quite put everything together. I stepped across the sterile threshold in my surgical garb--no one. Again, not a single woman in labor.

Sitting in the break room watching Scooby Doo in Spanish, I noticed the phone sure was ringing a lot more than normal and everyone was beginning to stir. Trying not to get too excited, I knew something exciting was about to happen.

In rolls a pregnant woman! However, I was a little confused because she did not appear to be in labor, nor did she appear to be full-term. The OR was being prepped so I knew a C-section was in order. Tears rolled down the woman´s face. The phrases "26 weeks" and "pre-eclampsia" were being thrown around. And I knew ever too clearly exactly what was about to happen. Doctors and nurses alike gathered around in an effort to provide a combination of comfort and reality. They were deeply concerned. As the first incision was made I thought--I want to be an OB/GYN. I want care for women at their most vulnerable and exciting times in life.

Before I knew it a baby boy no larger than my hand was taken from his safe, secure home nearly 14 weeks before his time. Like a little girl observing the work of her father, I watched every move of the neonatologist carefully. I was completely enamored by this little 26 weeker. At only 600 grams, he was perfect in every way. Ten tiny fingers grasping for comfort. Ten tiny toes kicking in the air. I pressed my stethoscope against his chest and heard his tiny heart beating and his lungs working so hard for some air. And his cry--at his cry everyone went still and tears filled my eyes. Standing by his side I thought--I want to be a neonatologist. I want to help the little ones fight for life.

Thursday I found myself at the side of Steven, an 8 month old with a cleft lip. With just a quick glance at his cute little face your heart broke. I was amazed at the simplicity and yet delicacy of the repair surgery. Upon completion, Steven looked much like any other 8 month old with only a small scar in the place of his cleft. I rocked him and held him close as he whimpered during recovery. I couldn´t help but think how many children around the world I have seen with cleft lips and what a difference such a simple surgery would make in their lives. By the end of the morning I thought--I want to be a pediatric surgeon.

Needless to say, I have found the opportunities in medicine to be endless. In part, that ignites fear in me. In part, it kindles such excitement. I fear that I will never be able to choose which path to take! However, I know that no matter where I find myself, I will be doing the very thing for which I long--making a difference in others´ lives.

In Greek there are two words for life--bios and zoe. Bios is the root of biology meaning the type of life that lives and breathes. Zoe is far less superficial, a quality of life and not just life itself, a life full of hope and joy. What a joy to bring not just bios life but zoe life also into the lives of others! I pray that God would truly use my hands to be an instrument of healing and hope, an instrument of life. Not just living, breathing life, but life abundant.

What a privilege we have to know Him and serve Him. May we never take it for granted a single day. May we walk in the joy that says, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you" (Psalm 16:2).

He Is No Fool....

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

-Jim Elliot, missionary to the Ecuadorian Amazon

This weekend was a weekend to remember forever. After 9 hours of winding roads through the Andes and expeditions where roads are unheard of we arrived in the Amazon jungle. The phrase "off the beaten path" took on an entirely new meaning as we navigated over rocks and through small creeks.

The jungle is indescribable—its beauty and wealth are beyond words.

When we arrived on Friday evening we were greeted by monkeys in the town square. Our guide joined us, and we journeyed further into the jungle as the sun set, taking in all the beauty. We arrived at a small camp, gathered our belongings, and hiked about a mile to our huts just off the river. After dinner, we trekked through the jungle exploring the world of creatures surrounding us—insects large and small.

Anxious to see the full beauty of our surroundings the next morning, we opened our door to a world of color and wonder. The jungle was everything we could have imagined and more.

Saturday was full of adventure as we hiked and canoed through the glorious surroundings. We tasted of the jungle fruits and even learned how to shoot blow darts for hunting. We learned about the jungle animals and the jungle life. Our day concluded with a swim in the river, dinner, a fire with jungle juice and jungle stories as we lounged in hammocks.

One experience is more striking than all the others, however. While canoeing down the Rio Napa, our guide told me a very familiar story from a world of personal experience. He recounted the story of Nate Saint, Jim Elliot, Ed McCulley, Pete Fleming, and Roger Youderian. As we cruised past a rocky beach he said, "There. Right there they gave their lives for the Waodani." He told the story so beautifully in a language I am still struggling to grasp. But while I did not catch his every word—I heard it all and I saw it all in his countenance. He spoke of how those men and their families changed the jungle. He spoke of personal change in the life of his grandfather through the hope of Jesus that ultimately brought change to his entire family. He thanked God for the life that he has and privilege he has of knowing Jesus and experiencing the beauty of God´s creation everyday in the jungle. It was a powerful moment that is difficult to describe. I have heard the story of these men and even seen the movie, but to hear it from the lips of one changed by their sacrifice was remarkable. To see the very location where they gave their lives and even experience a glimpse of their lives in the jungle for a few short days sparked something in me.

I was ever so gently reminded that the Gospel is worth my life, every part of me. As we were riding home, I opened a book I have been reading, "When I Don´t Desire God" by John Piper. As I read, Piper recounted the sacrifice of these men saying that their joy in Him was the power behind their obedience and faith. Coincidence? I think not.

I am so grateful for a patient God who will go to such incredible lengths to remind me that my life is His and He is truly all I need. Every sacrifice is so small compared to His glory. And ultimately, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

Riobamba, Ecuador

Greetings from Riobamba, Ecuador! After only 5 days in Ecuador, I must admit that it is very difficult to write in English—my mind is overflowing with Spanish words and phrases! What a beautiful country!

There are beautiful flowers everywhere!



The city is surrounded by mountains on each side. It is gorgeous. Here is one of the many volcanoes in Ecuador.

More pics to come soon!

I am staying with a family here, mi mama y mi pape. I am truly part of the family. Mi mama calls me ¨mi hija¨ meaning my daughter. Every day I awake to kisses, every afternoon I receive kisses when I come home, and every night I am sent to bed with a kiss. That is a lot of kisses! The people here are very affectionate (obviously!), and family is more important than anything else in the world. Every day I walk home for lunch and eat the biggest meal you have even seen with mama, pape, and the other children. It is truly amazing. I love it. I have heard of such family dynamics but to actually be apart of it is quite an experience.

My first day with my family I failed to make it home for lunch. I just didn´t know better. When I got home that evening mi mama gave me 5 or 6 kisses and said she was worried all day with tears in her eyes. She talked all evening about how much she worried. Tuesday evening a group of us gringos went to watch a futbol game, and when I asked mi pape if I could go he replied with of course but if you want to invite all your friends to our casa you can. They are so generous and overflowing with love!

The hospital here is rather primitive. The past 2 days I have observed multiple surgeries, and I am always amazed at exactly what goes on—from the sterile procedure (or last thereof) to the procedure itself. It is a blessing to get to learn medical Spanish. I will definitely need it in the next few years!

I am learning so many things beyond a language and a culture—things about myself, things about God, and so much more. I am blown away that the Lord would bring me to such a foreign land to show me more of His beauty. He is so good. What more is there to say?


¨I was when I was happiest that I longed most…The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing…to find the place where all the beauty came from.¨ CS Lewis in Till We Have Faces