Here Lately...

Just in case you were wondering, the following is an update on my life and adventures!

Many of you have asked me, “Are you a doctor yet? How much longer? What are you going to do? And how does all this work?” Well, let me explain—

I’m currently in my fourth and last year of medical school, and I’m going to be an OB/GYN (Obstetrician and Gynecologist)! I am PUMPED about it. I feel like I am only paces away from the place I strived for for years. I know this is God’s calling on my life. I know I was made to take care of women from all walks of life through many stage of their lives. Doing so brings me such great joy! I am excited about helping bring new lives into this world, being a surgeon as well as primary care physician, and being an advocate for women and their health. This is the very thing I have been working for for so many years. It is incredible to finally see it all materialize.

After I graduate in May with an MD, I will begin an OB/GYN residency in July 2011 that will last 4 years. Last week I began the process of interviewing for a position in an OB/GYN residency program. Interview season typically lasts from late October through January. Many students travel widely and interview at approximately 10-15 programs, sometimes even more. I chose to apply throughout the Southeast—including Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, the Carolinas, and a few other random places here and there. I had a couple interviews in Texas in October and will be doing the bulk of my traveling outside of Texas in November in the form of a 3-week long roadtrip. Then in December I will be back in sweet home Houston traveling to several interviews in Texas.

At the end of this whole process, I will rank all of the programs I have interviewed at, and likewise, they will rank their interviewees. Then in March, someone presses some big magic button and every fourth year med student across the country gets ONE residency position (or not, but we won’t talk about that side of things :0). Then on March 17, the nationwide Match Day, there is a ceremony where each student receives an envelope containing the results of the match and the program to which they have been accepted and everyone opens their envelope in the presence of friends and family!

Some would say this whole interviewing and matching process is a bit stressful and nerve-racking. Yes and no. There are lots of little details, lots of unknowns, lots of meeting new faces, and lots of big decisions. But over and over, I hear the Lord whispering in my ear. I know the plans I have for you. Good, good plans. Plans to prosper you. And never to harm you. Plans for a hope. And a future. I am confident that the Lord saw these days ahead of me long before I was born. And He knew. He knew exactly what I would need. He knows the perfect place for me.

I have had a lot of time to myself over the last week or so. I have driven from Houston to San Antonio to Dallas to Nashville, well over a thousand miles, and about 24 hours worth of car time. I’ve sung my favorite songs at the top of my lungs, I’ve listened to some great sermons and audiobooks, and I’ve sat in complete silence—praying and listening and thinking. I’ve run the list of all my hopes and dreams and fears and expectations and much, much more. I’ve reminisced about where I’ve come from and where I’m heading. My heart is full—full of gratitude for all the wonderful things the Lord has done to bring me to this place and full of excitement over where He is taking me. But even in all of that there is that tinge of fear of the unknown. Will I move far away or will I stay close to the ones I love? Will it be super hard?? Who are these other folks who I’ll be spending days and nights with training to be OB/GYNs?

However, these unknowns, these fears, are overshadowed by the remarkable goodness of God in my life. He had done more than I could have ever asked or even imagined. He has been faithful. And He will forevermore be. So I give him my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my expectations, my future plans. They are safe with Him. And I am safe with Him.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to each of you for being such incredible friends, cheerleaders, prayer warriors, running buddies, confidants, and the list goes on. You are my people, and without your support in so many different seasons of my life I would have never made it to this place. I thank God for each of you!!

Please continue to pray and praise God for all He’s up to. Hopefully I’ll snap a few pics of my journey and keep you posted on my whereabouts via the Facebook stalking-machine!

Much love to each of you,

Janice

Speeding Tickets and Bunny Rabbits

“So, so sorry Ms. Huge Scary She-Man Police Officer with the fire darting from the eyes, nasty tongue ring bobbing around as you speak, and chill radiating from the heart--I know I whipped right around you going 85 in a 60 but I am just trying to get to the hospital...ya know to see my sick bunny rabbit, Mimoso. It’s been a tough day."

These thoughts raced through my mind and a more condensed, polite version came out in my shaking voice as my heart did laps in my chest on the side of the highway—during rush hour traffic nonetheless. The lovely lady had caught me red-handed, and though the Houston heat was blazing, it was about as cold Santa’s North Pole in our freeway-side conversation.

"HoustonMetroPD.LiscenseAndProofOfInsurance,” this woman spurted out at record speed. Ya know, normally the general speeding ticket stop begins with a greeting. Something like “Ma’am where you going?” or “What’s the rush?” or “Do you know how fast you were going, miss?” No, no greetings here, only business. I just knew I wasn’t wiggling out of this one without a big fat ticket.

I handed her the goods for her to do the usual background check and approximately an eternity later she returned to my window.

I braced myself.

Then I heard a crack—you know the kind you hear on a warm day in Antarctica when the ice breaks apart.

Warning!

OMG, somewhere in that tough body there was a heart after all! I nearly jumped out the window and kissed her. But the bar in her tongue frightened me right back into some good sense.

It was probably the bunny rabbit part that won her over I’m sure. She really seemed like the bunny rabbit kind of girl. A least maybe 34 years ago, when she was 3.

As I drove away, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or do some weird awkward combination of both.

When God Cries

I never run in the rain. I don't like getting wet. I don't like getting mud on my shoes. And wet socks are my worst enemy. Besides, I have this incredible fear of being struck by lightning. Crazy, I know. So if there is more than a 0.2% chance that it will rain at any point in the day, you will find me either on the treadmill or in my bed (probably in my bed 99.9% of the time, as the treadmill and I just aren't close friends either).

But today I woke up ready to hit the Park and RUN! I just knew it would be a gorgeous day for such and got all geared up to go. Upon opening the door, disappointment washed over me. It was drizzling. Not bad, but enough to get wet. So I did what every logical person would do and downloaded 2 additional weather apps to the 2 I already had on my phone and looked to see just how bad the rain would be and at what hour it would let up. It wasn't even forecast to rain much, so I headed out praying lightning wouldn't strike, of course.

Even on my way to the Park the sky cleared. Sweet. It was meant to be after all.

I ran my first 3 steps and the sky suddenly opened up. I was drenched within 5 minutes.

The rain was cold and stung my skin. I squinted my eyes in a futile attempt to keep the drops from burning my eyes. I pressed on and ran faster hoping it would let up again soon. It didn't.

The drops got bigger and fell quicker.

And I heard the voice of the Lord gently remind me that He knows the whole world is broken. It was as if He was saying, "I see, Janice. I know. And it breaks my heart too." I really felt like God was crying. Weirdest thing. I just wished I could get Him a tissue or something so He wouldn't get me so wet.

I shivered in the cold. The drops continued to sting my skin and flood my eyes. My socks were wet and mud flung up the back of my legs with each step. But there was something incredibly peaceful about knowing that God sees the brokenness and is moved by it. And there was also something about the way the rain washed the earth--like a cleansing rain to wash the brokenness away. Like springs of water would be in the desert. And I felt the Lord washing over me, reminding me, "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers" (Psalm 1:1-3). I felt the Lord reminding me that my life is His, that His ways are higher than mine and are PERFECT and beautiful and joyous. I knew He was reassuring me that I wasn't going to miss His best for me.

When I got home I was stirred to read the one recorded time in Scripture where God Himself cried. I LOVE the story. Check it out in John 11. Pretty much what happens is Jesus's friend Lazarus dies. He's been dead for 4 days when Jesus gets there. And He is told at least twice, "Man, what the mess?! If you would have gotten here 4 days ago this would have never happened! Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man kept this man from dying?!"

Jesus is lead to Lazarus's tomb, and I guess it suddenly hits him that his friend is gone. Dead. In the grave. And He weeps. Right there along with everyone else, He weeps.

Crazy story really--because His first words to them when He arrived were, "Your brother will rise again." I mean, He knew the grand finale. But there was something in Him that drove Him to tears even knowing that everything was going to be awesome in the end. He loved His friend. And, well, His friend was dead. So He wept. The sisters wept. The family mourned. And Jesus did too.

But not for too long I guess because before we know it Lazarus is up and walking and needing some new clothes lest he embarrass himself and everyone else for that matter.

And in a sense this is exactly what happened to me today--I felt the rain as tears of the Lord. And suddenly the clouds cleared and the sun even peaked out. I was soaked to the core but full of joy knowing that we serve a God who sees and is not the least bit absent from our pain, a God who weeps with those who weep, a God who is more than able to cause life to spring up in the dead, a God who mends the breech and breaks every fetter, a God who is our very own Resurrection and Life.

I am confident that ultimately there will be a place where there are no more tears and no more pain. There will be a place were all is made new.

And the Lord said,

"Be still, and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!"

The LORD of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Selah

(Psalm 46:10-11)

-J

Confessions.

I am terrified of wasting my life.

There--I said it.

Here's the thing. I've spent most of the last 11 years of my young life trying to find my place in this world, trying to do something that will count. Something that will change lives for eternity. Something that will bring unchanging hope and peace to the darkest corners of the world. I've dreamt about it. I've tossed and turned in my bed many sleepless nights wondering how on earth my life can change someone else's.

One thing has lead to another and here I am today in my third year of med school, arriving rather firmly and affirmedly at a decision to pursue OB/GYN. I love OB/GYN and have for a long time. I love the primary care, the surgery, the babies, the ladies, the whole nacho.

And while my passion to live a life that affects change and inspires hope in the lives of others around the globe has remained unchanged, let's not lie--my life for the past 4 years has been all about none other than me, me, me, and well, me. How will I get into med school? Where will I go to med school? How will I survive med school? How will I make the grades? Where will I go to residency? Will I get to go where I want to go? How much longer do I have to stay at this dreary hospital today? I take call how often?! When do I get to nap?! Do I really have to do that?! And I guess, partly it has to be this way--I do need to study. I do need to work. And, well, the good Lord knows, I do need some sleep from time to time too. And it would also be nice to make sure I have some plan as to what I'm doing when I graduate next year.

(Geez, if I had that many new I's all the blind folk in Texas would be able to see by next week.)

However, I feel rather self-absorbed lately thinking and planning and scheming and trying my best to sell myself to attendings to make the grade and get favorable evaluations. And I often have to stop and recollect and ask myself why I really do all this anyhow. What was that thing about changing the world again? And is that even possible? And will I be old and grey and disillusioned once I am finally trained to do all this stuff? Oh, and do I have to go there ALONE? O geez... A whole 'nother fear for a whole 'nother blog!

But I have these friends who, and read blogs about and hear of folks, just normal folks like me, who are doing INCREDIBLE things right now to reach the nations with clean water and save women from human trafficking and help starving kids learn how to grow crops for whole villages and do just about anything to suffer with the suffering and shed any amount of the light of hope possible into dark, dark places.

My heart about beats out of my chest when I read of it.

And I wonder if my life will ever amount to anything....

I wonder if I will ever finish all this doctor-making stuff, first of all!

Then, I wonder when it's all said and done, if I will bite into the American "dream" and find myself in 10 years buying a new house and driving a new car and living in the suburbs sending a few dollars over every now and again so I can feel good about myself and feel like I am helping out. I wonder if I will find myself living the doctor high life and never having done anything that really matters.

I wonder if I will get too chicken to ever make the wild, crazy, risky decision to just GO. To drop what the world has convinced me I "deserve" and go somewhere dark and bleak and miserable and hard and uncomfortable and joyous and beautiful.

I wonder if I will be bold enough to follow those dreams that often haunt me at night and that come to life when I read of others willing to give their lives for something beyond themselves.

So, in short, I am afraid of wasting my life. Of settling for less. Of becoming numb to suffering around the world and not daring to do something about it. Of getting tired and jaded and of feeling as if I deserve comforts and trinkets and treasures.

I am afraid of forfeiting all my dreams and what I've worked so hard to obtain only for an empty box of perishable goods.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer says it like this in "The Cost of Discipleship"--

Costly Grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciples leaves his nets and follows him. Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life.

May my heart not be lured so much toward the world and all its trimmings and trappings, but to the grace which costs me my life that I may find my only true life!


-J

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

-Jim Elliot, missionary and matryr

Palm Reading

The scene: Day 1 of my new internal medicine rotation with my new team and new attending nervously beginning my first presentation of a patient I just met a few minutes ago.

Me: Ms. So-and-So is a 20 year old on hospital day number 3 admitted for end stage renal disease and severe anemia. She is--

Attending: (Dramatic stopping gesture.) Woah. Woah. (Looking to my team.) What have we got here?

(Long, awkward pause.)

Me: (Trembling quietly, fearing I have said something wrong in just the first sentence of my presentation.)

Attending: (Looking back at me.) Let me see your hands, young lady.

Me: (Timidly tucking my notes under my arms and stretching out my hands.)

Attending: Turn them over!

Me: (Timidly allowing him to examine my hands.)

Attending: I knew it all along!

Me: (Flushed, fluttered, and terrified of my attending's palm reading skills.)

Attending: (Looking back at the team with a eureka sparkle in his eye.) I knew it! We have ourselves an OB/GYN!




Guess there's no escaping the OB/GYN in me!

-J

Support Me in the MS150!

Greetings dear friends,

As many of you may have heard, in a few short weeks, April 17-18, I will be riding my bike from Houston to Austin in the MS150 to raise money for the National MS Society. The National MS Society serves to move research forward by relentlessly pursuing prevention, treatment, and a cure; to move to reach out and respond to individuals, families and communities living with MS; and to move politicians and legislation to champion the needs of people with MS through activism, advocacy, and influence.

So what is MS anyway, you ask?

MS, short for Multiple Sclerosis, is an autoimmune disease that affects the brain and spinal cord (aka the Central Nervous System or CNS). In MS, the body's white blood cells attack tissue called myelin sheath. Myelin sheaths are the protective covering for nerve fibers in the brain. Much like an electric wire is insulated with rubber or plastic, the myelin sheaths cover nerve fibers as they transmit nerve impulses within the brain. When a myelin sheath is worn down or destroyed, the process is called demyelination. Demyelination causes the nerve fiber to be exposed. The exposed nerve fiber is less able to transmit nerve impulses. As a result, messages between different parts of the body are not transmitted as effectively. After the myelin is destroyed, scar tissue called sclerosis is left behind in the damaged areas, which are referred to as lesions or plaques.

Here’s a pic for you visual folks—

So what does that really mean?

Demyelination can take place anywhere in the CNS and cause a myriad of symptoms that vary from person to person. MS can cause blurred vision, loss of balance, poor coordination, slurred speech, tremors, numbness, extreme fatigue, problems with memory and concentration, paralysis, and blindness and more.

Who is affected?

MS affects over 400,000 people in the United States and up to 2.5 million people worldwide. Since most people are diagnosed before they turn 30, MS has been called the most common disability-causing illness for people under 45-years-old.

· Women are 70% more likely to have MS than men.
· People of European descent are twice as likely to have MS as African Americans and Asian Americans.
· MS also occurs more often in relatives of people with MS—Children, siblings, and nonidentical twins of someone with MS have a one in 100 to one in 40 chance of having MS themselves. The identical twin of someone with MS has a one in four chance of having MS.
· Multiple sclerosis is more common in cooler areas of the globe. In the United States, Northern states have higher rates of MS than Southern states, and Canada has a rate of MS double that of the US.

A Little Closer to Home

My dad was actually once diagnosed with MS—though if you know anything about my dad, his words on the subject were rather few and vague. “Well, I dunno what it was, they said MS, but whatever it was sure made me sick.” That’s about all I can get out of him on the topic. Silly man. Maybe one day I can sneak him into an MRI when he’s not looking and check him out, but until then the mystery remains unsolved.

In November 2009, I spent 4 weeks on the Memorial Hermann neurology service, and while neurology is by far not my forte, I sure did learn a lot—a lot that far surpassed the treatment of those with some sort of, well, neurologic problem. We had many folks on our service suffering from MS exacerbations as the heat provokes such, but one particular woman stands out in my mind. We’ll call her Ms. Felicidad. She was a rather pleasant woman who we spoke with each day. When she arrived, she was having trouble with her vision and was unable to move any of her extremities. After a week of intense treatment, we had her back to her baseline of functioning—still unable to feed or cloth herself without assistance, unable to see in some visual fields, and trouble with memory. Despite all her problems, or maybe inspite of them, what sticks out most glaringly about her was her gratefulness. Every day she would show off her ability to raise her right arm. She did it with such difficulty, but she was so excited to be able to move at all. She was the strongest woman I’ve met in quite awhile—her drive to keep fighting for life even a life that was still imperfect at best, was astounding. Her smile and her laughter will be hard to forget.

Thanks for reminding me to be grateful and rejoice always, Ms. Felicidad. This ride’s for you.

I’ve read ALL this stuff, so now what?!

This is where you come in, friends! Each rider is required to raise a minimum of $400 for the National MS Society. I would love for you to sponsor me in whatever way you can—financially, of course, in prayer, through encouragement. Any amount you can give counts and is much appreciated! There is a link on my Facebook page for you to sponsor me or you can click here. You can also give cash or checks directly to me. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to call or email me at Janice.L.Mitchell@uth.tmc.edu. You can also check out my MS150 fundraising page or the general MS150 website.

Thanks so much for all your encouragement and prayer! I am grateful for each of you.

Saved by grace. Motivated to race.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

Hebrews 12:1-3