“So, so sorry Ms. Huge Scary She-Man Police Officer with the fire darting from the eyes, nasty tongue ring bobbing around as you speak, and chill radiating from the heart--I know I whipped right around you going 85 in a 60 but I am just trying to get to the hospital...ya know to see my sick bunny rabbit, Mimoso. It’s been a tough day."
These thoughts raced through my mind and a more condensed, polite version came out in my shaking voice as my heart did laps in my chest on the side of the highway—during rush hour traffic nonetheless. The lovely lady had caught me red-handed, and though the Houston heat was blazing, it was about as cold Santa’s North Pole in our freeway-side conversation.
"HoustonMetroPD.LiscenseAndProofOfInsurance,” this woman spurted out at record speed. Ya know, normally the general speeding ticket stop begins with a greeting. Something like “Ma’am where you going?” or “What’s the rush?” or “Do you know how fast you were going, miss?” No, no greetings here, only business. I just knew I wasn’t wiggling out of this one without a big fat ticket.
I handed her the goods for her to do the usual background check and approximately an eternity later she returned to my window.
I braced myself.
Then I heard a crack—you know the kind you hear on a warm day in Antarctica when the ice breaks apart.
Warning!
OMG, somewhere in that tough body there was a heart after all! I nearly jumped out the window and kissed her. But the bar in her tongue frightened me right back into some good sense.
It was probably the bunny rabbit part that won her over I’m sure. She really seemed like the bunny rabbit kind of girl. A least maybe 34 years ago, when she was 3.
As I drove away, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or do some weird awkward combination of both.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
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