Saturday, December 24, 2005
He's Been Faithful
Christmas really snuck up on me this year. I just have such a hard time believing that last Christmas was a year ago already. I can't help but think of all the many, many things that have happened since then--hard things and joyous things. This time last year I was gasping for air after the craziest semester of my life. I was "getting my life together" and praying that God would restore to me my joy. He has done that and so so much more! The theme of my year, the thing I have found myself saying the most is "God is faithful." Isn't it wonderful to serve the Almighty God?! No, He's not tame, but He is ever so good!
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Near
Have you ever been talking to someone--maybe casually or maybe pouring your heart out--and realized they really weren't listening to you? That just happened to me. I am sure I do it too. But, nonetheless, it really bothers me, especially when I am talking about something really important to me. It really hurt me. I know that she didn't mean anything by it. She probably didn't even realize she did it.
This isn't the first time this week I've seen someone hurt someone else unintentionally. Sometimes we just have selfish moments. And even when it is just a short moment it can be costly. I've seen a lot of that this week. I've had a number of friends express hurt over something simple--the other person didn't even realize or intend harm in any way.
I was actually thinking about all this earlier. And then I had that little episode tonight. Kinda ironic. I couldn't help but turn my thoughts toward the faithfulness of God. I can rest assured that He never has those selfish moments. He has never not listened to a prayer or cry or shout of victory of mine--no matter how long or boring or childish or....the list goes on. He has never turned His eye from me. He has always stopped and lavished His love on me even when I was least expecting it. He draws me to Him in ways I cannot understand. His nearness truly is my good. Be near, O God, be near O God. Your nearness is to us our good...
This isn't the first time this week I've seen someone hurt someone else unintentionally. Sometimes we just have selfish moments. And even when it is just a short moment it can be costly. I've seen a lot of that this week. I've had a number of friends express hurt over something simple--the other person didn't even realize or intend harm in any way.
I was actually thinking about all this earlier. And then I had that little episode tonight. Kinda ironic. I couldn't help but turn my thoughts toward the faithfulness of God. I can rest assured that He never has those selfish moments. He has never not listened to a prayer or cry or shout of victory of mine--no matter how long or boring or childish or....the list goes on. He has never turned His eye from me. He has always stopped and lavished His love on me even when I was least expecting it. He draws me to Him in ways I cannot understand. His nearness truly is my good. Be near, O God, be near O God. Your nearness is to us our good...
Saturday, September 17, 2005
The Haunting Narrow Gate
There is a verse that haunts me every now and then. The words sometimes ring in my ears and keep me awake at night. I don't understand--it just seems so unlike the nice Sunday school Jesus I knew.
"...For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:14).
I mean, I thought that God “was not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). The two just do not add up in my mind. But the more days that go by, the more I see that the road truly is narrow. But I find that so incredibly unfair. Does that mean that only the spiritually elite will ever make it to God? I sure hope not or I would be counted out.
So, tonight as I once again observed the narrowness of the road, as I watched a world around me bowing to other gods, as I examined my own life and found myself longing for the wide, easy road, I heard God whisper to me ever so gently, “Janice, the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” And while so many times before the verse disturbed me and stirred in me a fear of this incredible God I serve, tonight it brought comfort.
I don’t know exactly why it was any different this time because the same sense of confusion came, and I didn’t have any grand revelations. But something about following Jesus made sense. I have come to realize that God Almighty is the only god I can chase after that won’t destroy me in the process. The road might be difficult. It may be lonely. But I know the prize awaiting me. I know there is no dead end. I know God does not disappoint. Nothing of great value ever came without a cost. Besides, if I lose my life surely I will find it.
I’ve tasted of worldly pleasures. And they are so good. But sometimes I believe the lie that they are best. I’ve tasted and seen the Lord is good. And O that I would remember that when my flesh longs for smaller gods!
I will walk path. I’ll run the race. And I will never be the same again....
"...For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:14).
I mean, I thought that God “was not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). The two just do not add up in my mind. But the more days that go by, the more I see that the road truly is narrow. But I find that so incredibly unfair. Does that mean that only the spiritually elite will ever make it to God? I sure hope not or I would be counted out.
So, tonight as I once again observed the narrowness of the road, as I watched a world around me bowing to other gods, as I examined my own life and found myself longing for the wide, easy road, I heard God whisper to me ever so gently, “Janice, the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” And while so many times before the verse disturbed me and stirred in me a fear of this incredible God I serve, tonight it brought comfort.
I don’t know exactly why it was any different this time because the same sense of confusion came, and I didn’t have any grand revelations. But something about following Jesus made sense. I have come to realize that God Almighty is the only god I can chase after that won’t destroy me in the process. The road might be difficult. It may be lonely. But I know the prize awaiting me. I know there is no dead end. I know God does not disappoint. Nothing of great value ever came without a cost. Besides, if I lose my life surely I will find it.
I’ve tasted of worldly pleasures. And they are so good. But sometimes I believe the lie that they are best. I’ve tasted and seen the Lord is good. And O that I would remember that when my flesh longs for smaller gods!
I will walk path. I’ll run the race. And I will never be the same again....
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Good News
I get the Washington Post everyday, and most days I do actually read a few articles that interest me. Lately, I have just skimmed over the headlines because the news seems to be the same every time--there is disaster in New Orleans, Bush's ratings drop to a new low, controversy over Roberts, people dying in Iraq, innocent children being harmed in some sick way, and the list goes on....And with all that it's easy to get discouraged. I'm convinced the world is longing to hear some good news. We are finally beginning to realize that worldly pursuits are vain dead-end streets paved with fool's gold. We have trod those streets for far too long and are thirsty for something real. We need Jesus. I need Jesus. And I need Him desperately. Because He is the Good News. He is the life in a dying world. He is the One who offers beauty for ashes and strength for fear, gladness for mourning and peace for despair! He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! He is the greatest of tastes, the richest of fares! He is my treasure. And in HIM, I find life, breath, and ALL that I am. So, be encouraged today that there is Good News....and be bold in proclaiming that. We've got to get the word out.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Mighty Warriors
I am going back to school tomorrow. Yesterday was kind of an emotional day for me. It was my last Sunday at Crossroads for awhile. I love my church, and I always miss it. I got all upset last night about always having to be the adult wherever I go--sometimes I even feel like that in my own house. That gets real old, real fast. I know that leadership is lonely, but I sure am afraid of being lonely and feeling like no one understands. So, I cried for the first time in awhile about it all. I didn't want to go back to school, but I didn't want to stay. I was just homesick. I think that is a good thing--to hurt because things are not what they ought to be, more so, to hurt because I am not what I ought to be. It's humbling, and it reminds me to keep my eyes on the goal, Jesus.
I prayed that God would bring me encouragement this semester. But He decided not to wait and brought it straight to me last night right after that. Amazing God. Absolutely amazing. He knows what we need before we even ask. Jesus, thank You for always being so good to me!
And this morning as I sat down at the kitchen table to spend some intimate time with Him, He was faithful, as always, to meet me there. I was reading in 2 Samuel 21:15-22 & 23:8-38. In the first verse, we see the unwelcomed site of an old enemy, the Philistines. At this point in David's life, if it wasn't one thing, it was another. I can relate. How discouraging!! He had just obeyed a tough command from God, and 2 Samuel 21:14 says, "...And after that God responded to the plea for the land." It looked like things were starting to smooth out for David after all kinds of craziness including his own son trying to kill him! But then some HUGE guys come stomping along--I mean giants--with huge spears and one even with 6 fingers on each hand and 6 toes on each foot. Verse 15 says, "And David grew weary." No joke. I bet David was already weary. His life seemed to be a run from one giant to the next. He was always spared, but those he loved were not so lucky. And sometimes he wanted to die as he grieved the loss of his best friend and son (2 Samuel 18:33). What a rollercoaster David experienced!
So, David was weary. But look what happens--his men come out and beat the mess out of these guys. Is that not like God to provide?! Just at David's wit end we see that time and time again. And I know the same is true in my life. The last 2 years have been a rollercoaster for me, and every time I thought the ride was over there was another drop. But there was never a time that God's hand was not on me. There was never a time that God rejected me when I came running to Him. There was never a lonely night that God did not hold me. And there was never a time that God did not do the miraculous to provide for me, His daughter. No, He didn't always smooth the ride. However, He has been on board with me holding me tight and letting me know that His ways are perfect.
Like David, I saw some mighty warriors of God come out of nowhere to beat down some unwelcomed guests in my life. And God taught me to treasure the body of Christ. He showed me the beauty of the way He designed His family to work. And He provided the encouragement and support I needed at just the right times, and ultimately I was drawn to Him like never before. He taught me to "in humility count others more significant" than myself (Philippians 2:3). He taught me 1 Corinthians 12:21--to not say to the hand, "I have no need of you," or to the foot, "I have no need of you." Because we were created to live in community. And I treasure the way that God has provided incredible friendships in my life to humble me and get me off of my pedestal and teach me I can't do this journey alone.
What an awesome God we serve!
I prayed that God would bring me encouragement this semester. But He decided not to wait and brought it straight to me last night right after that. Amazing God. Absolutely amazing. He knows what we need before we even ask. Jesus, thank You for always being so good to me!
And this morning as I sat down at the kitchen table to spend some intimate time with Him, He was faithful, as always, to meet me there. I was reading in 2 Samuel 21:15-22 & 23:8-38. In the first verse, we see the unwelcomed site of an old enemy, the Philistines. At this point in David's life, if it wasn't one thing, it was another. I can relate. How discouraging!! He had just obeyed a tough command from God, and 2 Samuel 21:14 says, "...And after that God responded to the plea for the land." It looked like things were starting to smooth out for David after all kinds of craziness including his own son trying to kill him! But then some HUGE guys come stomping along--I mean giants--with huge spears and one even with 6 fingers on each hand and 6 toes on each foot. Verse 15 says, "And David grew weary." No joke. I bet David was already weary. His life seemed to be a run from one giant to the next. He was always spared, but those he loved were not so lucky. And sometimes he wanted to die as he grieved the loss of his best friend and son (2 Samuel 18:33). What a rollercoaster David experienced!
So, David was weary. But look what happens--his men come out and beat the mess out of these guys. Is that not like God to provide?! Just at David's wit end we see that time and time again. And I know the same is true in my life. The last 2 years have been a rollercoaster for me, and every time I thought the ride was over there was another drop. But there was never a time that God's hand was not on me. There was never a time that God rejected me when I came running to Him. There was never a lonely night that God did not hold me. And there was never a time that God did not do the miraculous to provide for me, His daughter. No, He didn't always smooth the ride. However, He has been on board with me holding me tight and letting me know that His ways are perfect.
Like David, I saw some mighty warriors of God come out of nowhere to beat down some unwelcomed guests in my life. And God taught me to treasure the body of Christ. He showed me the beauty of the way He designed His family to work. And He provided the encouragement and support I needed at just the right times, and ultimately I was drawn to Him like never before. He taught me to "in humility count others more significant" than myself (Philippians 2:3). He taught me 1 Corinthians 12:21--to not say to the hand, "I have no need of you," or to the foot, "I have no need of you." Because we were created to live in community. And I treasure the way that God has provided incredible friendships in my life to humble me and get me off of my pedestal and teach me I can't do this journey alone.
What an awesome God we serve!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Nerd Camp
The last six weeks or so I was in Nashville participating in a program at Fisk and Vanderbilt Universities. For those of you who did not get my emails, here they are:
Friday, June 3rd:
"Nerd Camp ;0)"
Hey everyone!
I hate mass emails but I know that ya'll are praying for me and I just wanted to send a quick word saying that I made it to Nashville just fine and things are going great. Everyone here is like me--nerd through and through. ;0) But we also know how to have a great time and have been doing just that before classes start on Monday.
I have been designated as the Nashville tour guide. Not that I have ever even been to TN, but I have been the one leading us all over the place. Last night I loaded my car full of hungry girls and we set out to find some grub. We ended up in Opryland. It was a really neat adventure. Today we took a practice MCAT all day and tonight set out for another adventure into the great unknown. We ended up at the Pantheon, the Titans stadium, the country music hall of fame, the state capital, countless other fun sites, and finally Ben & Jerry's ice cream. ;0) As we sat and ate our ice cream, we laughed about being from Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Oregon, Montana, Illinois, and the list goes on. We mocked each others accents and joked about the expressions we used. Then we cracked on ourselves about being at "Nerd Camp." We just never knew it would be this fun.
Nashville is gorgeous and the campus we live on is amazing (check out the pictures at www.fisk.edu --we live in Jubilee Hall & it's the coolest bldg on campus!). A few girls and I ran through a park this evening and just enjoyed soaking it all up. It's been so amazing to make friends so quickly & to enjoy each others company so much. Please don't stop praying! I know that the quick transition and easy development of relationships is God at work. Pray for my new friends--I don't know that any of them know the Lord. Tomorrow night will be difficult as they are all going out drinking. We are all so much alike, and yet not. I want to enjoy being their friend and simply show them the greatest joy I've ever known.
Thanks for your prayers and your support! I had no idea what I was getting into, but this is beyond anything that I could have dreamed of....
Please keep me posted on how I can be praying for each of you!
Until the world knows Jesus,
Janice
Is. 43:1-2!!!!!
Monday, June 6th:
"A Gallon of Milk and a Historical Landmark"
I know I just sent an email a few days ago, but I wanted to update ya'll again now that classes have started.
This evening I took a carload of girls to Wal-Mart, and we were running a little late for dinner coming back. I had bought a gallon of milk and needed to put it in the fridge. They headed straight to dinner while I ran to the dorm to put my milk away. We parked in the back of the dorm, and I literaly began running toward the front of the building. As I rounded the corner, I found myself standing in a crowd of tourists gazing upward at my dorm as I held my gallon of milk in my hand. I tried to quietly slip through unnoticed but was quite out of place. The dorm we live in is a historical landmark and the most important building on campus. There are strict rules about the things that we can wear and do in the lobby as well as things we can have in the dorm period. But it is a lot of fun and is definetly a neat experience.
Anyhow, class started today at 7am bright and early. My organic class lasts from 7-9:30 on MWF and is taught by a Vanderbilt professor. On MWF afternoons we have seminars about various things. Tuesdays and Thursdays we spend in the Vanderbilt Medical Center shadowing some of the world's top doctors, doing case studies and research, and learning hands-on. I thought today would be rough having organic at 7am, but the time flew and it was actually quite enjoyable.
I am still having an amazing time getting to know the others here from all over the country. I took some girls with me to FBC Nashville yesterday, and I really had some neat opportunities to share with them. We actually ended up going to their church picnic that evening and participating in a sunset service on the lake! I am constantly seeing God's hand of provision every time I turn around.
The program here is rigorous, and we are going to be pretty busy but this is probably one of the neatest opportunities I will ever have. I know that this is the Lord's mission field for me this summer. I am soaking up the benefits of rubbing elbows with world renown doctors, but I am striving to be salt and light every step of the way. The opportunities are endless. I mean, there is nothing quite like the wonders of God's creation found in the human body. I am getting to experience that on a new level, but I am also getting to share that with others who don't really see things that way.
Well, sorry to write for so long. Things around here are just so exciting! And my emails are sure to get fewer and farther between (as well as shorter for that matter) as things start to pick up here the next few days.
Keep your eyes on Jesus!
Until the world knows Him,
Janice
Thursday, June 9th:
"Brain Surgery Day 1"
Well, my day began bright and early at 5 am. I dressed my best and sported my new white coat and Vanderbilt Medical Center ID Badge. I boarded a shuttle bus where I was dropped off next to the hospital. I was picked up by a woman who worked for the doctor I would be shadowing for the day. I scrubbed up and headed for the OR. Our patient for the morning had a large tumor in her brain in the speech region. For this reason, the procedure was done while the patient was awake in order to make a speech map of the brain. Imagine having brain surgery awake!! I saw much of the tumor be removed and then took a quick lunch break.
After lunch I headed to class--kind of anti-climatic after brain surgery. Today was the first day of our problem based learning class, a class in which we receive a case, research the problem, and develop the appropriate diagnosis. Because today was the first day we just spent time getting to know one another. The class is taught by med students here at Vanderbilt, and I really had an incredible time just getting to know them and learn from them. They were incredibly encouraging and supportive of us and our aspirations. They know that the road to and through medical school is not easy and comes with a lot of uncertainty. They gladly answered every last question of ours. They will be an amazing resource for me both this summer and in the future. I learned a lot from them today and was really encouraged to pursue my dreams.
This experience continues to grow on me. Around every corner there is a new surprise and a new blessing. I just really couldn't have expected things to be like they are. I am tired, and I do take in a lot of new information every day, but it is such an exciting time. On Tuesday we were given our white coats and ID badges. As I walked through the medical center I kept catching glimpses of myself in the reflective glass on the buildings. I just couldn't quite believe it. I stood in front of the mirror for a long time in the bathroom trying to decide whether or not I looked like a kid playing dress-up or like I fit the part. I never quite decided. Hopefully I'll be able to send a picture, and you can be the judge. ;0) I am just blown away by the opportunity the Lord has given me to be here. Sometimes I feel really childish because I get so excited.
Today we were all asked to share our stories today of how we got involved in medicine--where we were coming from and where we want to go. We just went around the table sharing, and I just happened to be the last to go. It was neat to sit back and see the vastly different backgrounds everyone was coming from. I was humbled to get to be among them and to share my story! So, I briefly explained to them what had sparked my interests and what not. I told of going overseas and seeing children with AIDS in Africa. I simply explained my heart for the people and God's way of leading me to the place I'm at now. They applauded at the end! No one else got applause. I just don't quite understand it. "God, why me?" is the question I am constantly asking.
When God called Abraham, he told him that he was going to bless him and make him great. But the whole reason behind that was so that he could be a blessing to others. I see it the same way in my life as well, and I pray that I really will be a blessing to all those I come in contact with that God may be glorified to the ends of the earth! And I think too that all the people of God are blessed by God in the same way. We are so blessed to get to walk in intimacy with him--whether that be in the medical field, in teaching, in business, in parenting, or wherever God has placed us. It's awesome that we are not all called to the same places because who would be a light in the darkness elsewhere? And I might be young but I know that some of the places seem less honorable than others, but the apostle Paul says that greater honor is given to the parts that lacked it and the unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty. He also says that the parts that seem weaker are indispensable (1 Cor. 12:22-25).
So, wherever you're at today enjoy walking in intimacy with God! That is the greatest joy of all--greater than watching brain surgery even. (Of course, I know some of you would rather have brain surgery than watch it ;0)
Have an amazing day!
Until the world knows Jesus,
Janice
Is. 43:1-2
Thursday, June 23rd:
Brain Surgery & the SBC Annual Convention
How is everyone? I hope you are all staying cool and hydrated! ;0) I just got back from my evening jog with my workout buddies up the steps of the Capital Building. Tonight, like many other nights, I caught myself just daydreaming. The sun was setting as we stretched on Capital Hill and overlooked the city. The 3 of us talked about the adventures of our week--seeing stem cell transplants, brain surgeries done through the nose, spinal fusions, and more. We laughed about certain happenings and talked about the basketball game tonight. We discussed the embryology of the heart and congenital heart defects such as atrial septal defect and patent ductus arteriosus. We speculated about our friend Becca and her new little boyfriend. It was a good time as always. The jog always ends with a steep uphill climb through one of the rougher neighborhoods around. Something about running through there always gets us talking about the things we are passionate about--it sparks something in all 3 of us that makes us turn to one another and say, "I want to be a doctor, and I want to be a doctor where no one else will be."
I've been incredible busy this last week. I finished up organic chemistry and am now doing biochemistry. I had a lot of projects due and did a presentation today on congenital heart defects. I'm still having the time of my life, and I'm still blown away that I am here. I bounced around from OR to OR today watching several different neurosurgeries. I stopped by the holding room where they begin to administer anesthesia and sat beside a 17 year-old girl with a tumor on her pituitary gland and her mom explaining how the procedure would go and easing some of the anxiety.
Well, I could tell about many more adventures, but to some of you I am speaking a foreign language. I am grossing out others of you, and I am annoying others of you by sending out terribly long mass emails that really don't say a lot except, "I'm excited to be playing doctor!"
Amongst my medical adventures, I roamed into the Southern Baptist Convention Annual Meeting a couple times this week as well. I got to sing in the choir last night behind Casting Crowns and watch as Dr. Bobby Welch, president of the SBC, exhorted Christians to evangelize. Parts of the meeting itself were incredibly interesting to see the business aspect of things if you will. It gave me a lot to think about as I got in my car to head back to a dorm full of lost people.
Lately I have been studying the life of King David, a man after God's own heart. Did you know that it was years after David was anointed king that he actually took the throne? In fact, before he was even king of Israel, he was king over Judah for 7 and a half years!!! That's almost as much time as I will spend in med school. ;0) Anyhow, I was amazed as I began to realize how long David spent running from Saul, and even after Saul was gone, how long he spent at war with the house of Saul. But David held on to God's promise. The young shepherd boy had seen God's hand at work and knew His God would never fail Him. He knew that God had hand-picked him from many other seemingly better qualified men. Yes, there were times when he doubted, and times when He cried out, "God, where are You?! How long, O Lord?" There were even times when he gave in and gave up (1 Sam. 27), but God sustained him. And "David strengthened himself in the Lord his God" (1 Sam. 30:6). The crown did not fall into David's lap. God used many struggles leading to the kingship to prepare His chosen one.
I have seen the same principle at work in my life. Just in the last year I see the different struggles I faced with sickness and change and even a near death experience ;0) to smooth off some of my rough edges and draw me near to God. The fire is hot, but the fire is refining.
"But now THUS SAYS THE LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: 'FEAR NOT, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, YOU ARE MINE. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. FOR I AM the Lord your God...' " Isaiah 43:1-3
What a promise to stand on! God is faithful.
And you know what's so good about the promised throne? Our promised throne is here. And there is a Father there waiting just for us. "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need" (Heb. 4:16).
Have a great weekend and enjoy being HIS!!!!
Until the world knows Jesus,
Janice
Friday, June 3rd:
"Nerd Camp ;0)"
Hey everyone!
I hate mass emails but I know that ya'll are praying for me and I just wanted to send a quick word saying that I made it to Nashville just fine and things are going great. Everyone here is like me--nerd through and through. ;0) But we also know how to have a great time and have been doing just that before classes start on Monday.
I have been designated as the Nashville tour guide. Not that I have ever even been to TN, but I have been the one leading us all over the place. Last night I loaded my car full of hungry girls and we set out to find some grub. We ended up in Opryland. It was a really neat adventure. Today we took a practice MCAT all day and tonight set out for another adventure into the great unknown. We ended up at the Pantheon, the Titans stadium, the country music hall of fame, the state capital, countless other fun sites, and finally Ben & Jerry's ice cream. ;0) As we sat and ate our ice cream, we laughed about being from Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Oregon, Montana, Illinois, and the list goes on. We mocked each others accents and joked about the expressions we used. Then we cracked on ourselves about being at "Nerd Camp." We just never knew it would be this fun.
Nashville is gorgeous and the campus we live on is amazing (check out the pictures at www.fisk.edu --we live in Jubilee Hall & it's the coolest bldg on campus!). A few girls and I ran through a park this evening and just enjoyed soaking it all up. It's been so amazing to make friends so quickly & to enjoy each others company so much. Please don't stop praying! I know that the quick transition and easy development of relationships is God at work. Pray for my new friends--I don't know that any of them know the Lord. Tomorrow night will be difficult as they are all going out drinking. We are all so much alike, and yet not. I want to enjoy being their friend and simply show them the greatest joy I've ever known.
Thanks for your prayers and your support! I had no idea what I was getting into, but this is beyond anything that I could have dreamed of....
Please keep me posted on how I can be praying for each of you!
Until the world knows Jesus,
Janice
Is. 43:1-2!!!!!
Monday, June 6th:
"A Gallon of Milk and a Historical Landmark"
I know I just sent an email a few days ago, but I wanted to update ya'll again now that classes have started.
This evening I took a carload of girls to Wal-Mart, and we were running a little late for dinner coming back. I had bought a gallon of milk and needed to put it in the fridge. They headed straight to dinner while I ran to the dorm to put my milk away. We parked in the back of the dorm, and I literaly began running toward the front of the building. As I rounded the corner, I found myself standing in a crowd of tourists gazing upward at my dorm as I held my gallon of milk in my hand. I tried to quietly slip through unnoticed but was quite out of place. The dorm we live in is a historical landmark and the most important building on campus. There are strict rules about the things that we can wear and do in the lobby as well as things we can have in the dorm period. But it is a lot of fun and is definetly a neat experience.
Anyhow, class started today at 7am bright and early. My organic class lasts from 7-9:30 on MWF and is taught by a Vanderbilt professor. On MWF afternoons we have seminars about various things. Tuesdays and Thursdays we spend in the Vanderbilt Medical Center shadowing some of the world's top doctors, doing case studies and research, and learning hands-on. I thought today would be rough having organic at 7am, but the time flew and it was actually quite enjoyable.
I am still having an amazing time getting to know the others here from all over the country. I took some girls with me to FBC Nashville yesterday, and I really had some neat opportunities to share with them. We actually ended up going to their church picnic that evening and participating in a sunset service on the lake! I am constantly seeing God's hand of provision every time I turn around.
The program here is rigorous, and we are going to be pretty busy but this is probably one of the neatest opportunities I will ever have. I know that this is the Lord's mission field for me this summer. I am soaking up the benefits of rubbing elbows with world renown doctors, but I am striving to be salt and light every step of the way. The opportunities are endless. I mean, there is nothing quite like the wonders of God's creation found in the human body. I am getting to experience that on a new level, but I am also getting to share that with others who don't really see things that way.
Well, sorry to write for so long. Things around here are just so exciting! And my emails are sure to get fewer and farther between (as well as shorter for that matter) as things start to pick up here the next few days.
Keep your eyes on Jesus!
Until the world knows Him,
Janice
Thursday, June 9th:
"Brain Surgery Day 1"
Well, my day began bright and early at 5 am. I dressed my best and sported my new white coat and Vanderbilt Medical Center ID Badge. I boarded a shuttle bus where I was dropped off next to the hospital. I was picked up by a woman who worked for the doctor I would be shadowing for the day. I scrubbed up and headed for the OR. Our patient for the morning had a large tumor in her brain in the speech region. For this reason, the procedure was done while the patient was awake in order to make a speech map of the brain. Imagine having brain surgery awake!! I saw much of the tumor be removed and then took a quick lunch break.
After lunch I headed to class--kind of anti-climatic after brain surgery. Today was the first day of our problem based learning class, a class in which we receive a case, research the problem, and develop the appropriate diagnosis. Because today was the first day we just spent time getting to know one another. The class is taught by med students here at Vanderbilt, and I really had an incredible time just getting to know them and learn from them. They were incredibly encouraging and supportive of us and our aspirations. They know that the road to and through medical school is not easy and comes with a lot of uncertainty. They gladly answered every last question of ours. They will be an amazing resource for me both this summer and in the future. I learned a lot from them today and was really encouraged to pursue my dreams.
This experience continues to grow on me. Around every corner there is a new surprise and a new blessing. I just really couldn't have expected things to be like they are. I am tired, and I do take in a lot of new information every day, but it is such an exciting time. On Tuesday we were given our white coats and ID badges. As I walked through the medical center I kept catching glimpses of myself in the reflective glass on the buildings. I just couldn't quite believe it. I stood in front of the mirror for a long time in the bathroom trying to decide whether or not I looked like a kid playing dress-up or like I fit the part. I never quite decided. Hopefully I'll be able to send a picture, and you can be the judge. ;0) I am just blown away by the opportunity the Lord has given me to be here. Sometimes I feel really childish because I get so excited.
Today we were all asked to share our stories today of how we got involved in medicine--where we were coming from and where we want to go. We just went around the table sharing, and I just happened to be the last to go. It was neat to sit back and see the vastly different backgrounds everyone was coming from. I was humbled to get to be among them and to share my story! So, I briefly explained to them what had sparked my interests and what not. I told of going overseas and seeing children with AIDS in Africa. I simply explained my heart for the people and God's way of leading me to the place I'm at now. They applauded at the end! No one else got applause. I just don't quite understand it. "God, why me?" is the question I am constantly asking.
When God called Abraham, he told him that he was going to bless him and make him great. But the whole reason behind that was so that he could be a blessing to others. I see it the same way in my life as well, and I pray that I really will be a blessing to all those I come in contact with that God may be glorified to the ends of the earth! And I think too that all the people of God are blessed by God in the same way. We are so blessed to get to walk in intimacy with him--whether that be in the medical field, in teaching, in business, in parenting, or wherever God has placed us. It's awesome that we are not all called to the same places because who would be a light in the darkness elsewhere? And I might be young but I know that some of the places seem less honorable than others, but the apostle Paul says that greater honor is given to the parts that lacked it and the unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty. He also says that the parts that seem weaker are indispensable (1 Cor. 12:22-25).
So, wherever you're at today enjoy walking in intimacy with God! That is the greatest joy of all--greater than watching brain surgery even. (Of course, I know some of you would rather have brain surgery than watch it ;0)
Have an amazing day!
Until the world knows Jesus,
Janice
Is. 43:1-2
Thursday, June 23rd:
Brain Surgery & the SBC Annual Convention
How is everyone? I hope you are all staying cool and hydrated! ;0) I just got back from my evening jog with my workout buddies up the steps of the Capital Building. Tonight, like many other nights, I caught myself just daydreaming. The sun was setting as we stretched on Capital Hill and overlooked the city. The 3 of us talked about the adventures of our week--seeing stem cell transplants, brain surgeries done through the nose, spinal fusions, and more. We laughed about certain happenings and talked about the basketball game tonight. We discussed the embryology of the heart and congenital heart defects such as atrial septal defect and patent ductus arteriosus. We speculated about our friend Becca and her new little boyfriend. It was a good time as always. The jog always ends with a steep uphill climb through one of the rougher neighborhoods around. Something about running through there always gets us talking about the things we are passionate about--it sparks something in all 3 of us that makes us turn to one another and say, "I want to be a doctor, and I want to be a doctor where no one else will be."
I've been incredible busy this last week. I finished up organic chemistry and am now doing biochemistry. I had a lot of projects due and did a presentation today on congenital heart defects. I'm still having the time of my life, and I'm still blown away that I am here. I bounced around from OR to OR today watching several different neurosurgeries. I stopped by the holding room where they begin to administer anesthesia and sat beside a 17 year-old girl with a tumor on her pituitary gland and her mom explaining how the procedure would go and easing some of the anxiety.
Well, I could tell about many more adventures, but to some of you I am speaking a foreign language. I am grossing out others of you, and I am annoying others of you by sending out terribly long mass emails that really don't say a lot except, "I'm excited to be playing doctor!"
Amongst my medical adventures, I roamed into the Southern Baptist Convention Annual Meeting a couple times this week as well. I got to sing in the choir last night behind Casting Crowns and watch as Dr. Bobby Welch, president of the SBC, exhorted Christians to evangelize. Parts of the meeting itself were incredibly interesting to see the business aspect of things if you will. It gave me a lot to think about as I got in my car to head back to a dorm full of lost people.
Lately I have been studying the life of King David, a man after God's own heart. Did you know that it was years after David was anointed king that he actually took the throne? In fact, before he was even king of Israel, he was king over Judah for 7 and a half years!!! That's almost as much time as I will spend in med school. ;0) Anyhow, I was amazed as I began to realize how long David spent running from Saul, and even after Saul was gone, how long he spent at war with the house of Saul. But David held on to God's promise. The young shepherd boy had seen God's hand at work and knew His God would never fail Him. He knew that God had hand-picked him from many other seemingly better qualified men. Yes, there were times when he doubted, and times when He cried out, "God, where are You?! How long, O Lord?" There were even times when he gave in and gave up (1 Sam. 27), but God sustained him. And "David strengthened himself in the Lord his God" (1 Sam. 30:6). The crown did not fall into David's lap. God used many struggles leading to the kingship to prepare His chosen one.
I have seen the same principle at work in my life. Just in the last year I see the different struggles I faced with sickness and change and even a near death experience ;0) to smooth off some of my rough edges and draw me near to God. The fire is hot, but the fire is refining.
"But now THUS SAYS THE LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: 'FEAR NOT, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, YOU ARE MINE. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. FOR I AM the Lord your God...' " Isaiah 43:1-3
What a promise to stand on! God is faithful.
And you know what's so good about the promised throne? Our promised throne is here. And there is a Father there waiting just for us. "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need" (Heb. 4:16).
Have a great weekend and enjoy being HIS!!!!
Until the world knows Jesus,
Janice
The Starting Point
Tonight over dinner I discussed fertility with a young missionary couple, Brad and Carrie for all you Woodlandites. We also discussed racism, labor, and seminary. But above all we delighted in God. We shared the highs and the lows and God's goodness at all those points. We talked for nearly four hours. Fellowship and community are so beautiful.
We joked about Brad's pride in his fertility, and how he should get passes to the YMCA because his boys can swim. We laughed about how babies are made in China--it's in the water or something. We talked about birth control and how it's like abortion, and I grappled with how I felt about that. Then there was Carrie's random soloiquies about racism, and Chris's family history involving rape and pillage. Any passerby would have marked us crazy--something about sitting in Guadalajara for 4 hours I guess. But what we shared went far deeper than sex and babies and race and the many other things we discussed. We shared that common bond found only in Jesus Christ. What a beautiful thing!
I'll never forget the look in Carrie's eyes as she talked about her students. I'll never forget the way Brad listened so intently as I told about the last year of my life. I won't forget how hard we laughed and how the time flew by so fast. The honesty and the authenticity permeating our conversations and laughter was refreshing. It was good to declare that God is good, and that His love endures even through the darkest of nights. It was good to speak of His wonders and His faithfulness to His children.
Brad encouraged me to start this thing. I don't even know who will read it. But it is a good place for me to continue to declare God's goodness and to archive the journeys He takes me on. Maybe it will bless someone else. I hope it blesses you to hear that God is good. I hope knowing that God is in control stirs some sort of comfort in your spirit. I pray that the thought of Him brings a smile to your face today.
We joked about Brad's pride in his fertility, and how he should get passes to the YMCA because his boys can swim. We laughed about how babies are made in China--it's in the water or something. We talked about birth control and how it's like abortion, and I grappled with how I felt about that. Then there was Carrie's random soloiquies about racism, and Chris's family history involving rape and pillage. Any passerby would have marked us crazy--something about sitting in Guadalajara for 4 hours I guess. But what we shared went far deeper than sex and babies and race and the many other things we discussed. We shared that common bond found only in Jesus Christ. What a beautiful thing!
I'll never forget the look in Carrie's eyes as she talked about her students. I'll never forget the way Brad listened so intently as I told about the last year of my life. I won't forget how hard we laughed and how the time flew by so fast. The honesty and the authenticity permeating our conversations and laughter was refreshing. It was good to declare that God is good, and that His love endures even through the darkest of nights. It was good to speak of His wonders and His faithfulness to His children.
Brad encouraged me to start this thing. I don't even know who will read it. But it is a good place for me to continue to declare God's goodness and to archive the journeys He takes me on. Maybe it will bless someone else. I hope it blesses you to hear that God is good. I hope knowing that God is in control stirs some sort of comfort in your spirit. I pray that the thought of Him brings a smile to your face today.
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