Top 10 Lessons Learned My First Month as a Doctor

Disclaimer: No patients were harmed in the making of this list.

10. You're sure to get super excited in your first c-section so be sure to tie your mask just right so you don't get all fogged up--that's one thing you're gonna want to do by sight and not by faith the first time.

9. If you're going to break someone's bag of water AND sit on the end of her bed make sure you brought a fresh change of drawers…you just may need them.

8. When a patient begins a conversation with, "Doctor, do you think something could have crawled inside me and be living in there..." pray your pager goes off STAT.

7. If you struggled to tie your shoe as a child, those knots in the OR are gonna be a booger for you. Practice makes perfect.

6. If someone says they heard it was pouring in triage don't just assume that means there is an abundance of patients. Who knows, water just may be gushing from the ceiling.

5. Warm chocolate chip cookies on a busy day are the best, just make sure you get all the chocolate off your face before you go see a patient. A delivery is the worst time to discover you have something on your face that may or may not be chocolate.

4. Wear a mask or make a conscience effort to keep your mouth closed during a delivery. See #5.

3. Don't ever tell a patient she is "grossly ruptured." Just because that's normal talk to you, her husband thinks you're saying she's disgusting, and you’re going to feel rather silly explaining the use of the word “gross” to him.

2. Being an OB/GYN is the coolest job in the world.

1. Nothing is impossible—in every sense of the expression.